Saturday, August 21, 2010

A bit of this and a bit of that

Here is the color you get when you rub elderberries on paper. Delicious.

Probably you all recognize this as a Moleskin journal. I bought a new one before my vacation. I like the pages with squares as I read that Colette wrote on squared paper, as all the French did at least back then. A friend who went to Paris brought me back a squared paper notebook and apologized. This is the only kind of paper I could find, she said. But I treasured that notebook and wrote the first drafts of many stories in it.

This notebook got wet on my journey. I am now writing on wrinkled pages. It is only half used up and I refuse to ditch it.

Mostly I write to-do lists but sometimes I write journal type entries. I am trying to get lots of left-brained type things completed. I have to make lots of phone calls, not my favorite activity. Plus drive all over the place. I think I am avoiding the BIG thing I have to do which is weighing heavily on me. I need a dose of devil may care. I need my wild woman to wake up. I need to parent myself.

Emily returned to me the other day in this lovely box. I have never cremated a cat before (always have buried them in the back yard) but it is sort of nice to have Miss Em here with me. The vet even sent a sympathy card signed by everyone who worked there! When my Mom died, I thought her doctor of 25 years who saw her several times a month would (or at least his office would) have sent a card, but no.

Been reading so many happy posts lately and this one feels a bit down. Today is an overcast day and Bibs and I are just hanging out and reading and practicing yoga. Watching the turkeys graze the field.


Irene said...

I love your wavy notebook, never ditch it. You are right, veterinarians are far more feeling people to us than Doctors are. Our vet did the same when our rabbit died. My kids were very touched that someone knew their beloved SoX.
I think I may suggest sending sympathy cards to my sister who teaches Doctors assistants. Even if doctors don't see their patients frequently it is nice to know you mattered to someone. Enjoy your overcast day, I am too.

soulbrush said...

maybe a few sessions of meditation will help you too.

Lynn said...

It wasn't downish until the end and then you got sad remembering Miss Em and Mom.
The splash of magenta is magnificent! I LOVE this color! I'd spread a ton of those berries over muslin I would and sew up a storm!
Loved seeing your list with so many things marked off as done! I am organized like that too. Marking them off feels good.
DH also hates phones and phone calls. He can relate.
The box with Ms Ems ashes is lovely and the card a sweet touch.
I hope you will have a good book to read or a story to write...perhaps on wavey squared paper about Ms Em maybe? I'd like to read it later in another this or that post!
Enjoy the rest of this day!

patti said...

I love crinkled, wrinkled pages, they're so much more interesting!

I must see if my lilly pillies make a colour as beautiful as the elderberries.

I know what you mean about leftbrained tasks. I've been using post it notes (a gadget that came with my computer). The visual thing is most important or nothing gets done!

Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

I like writing in lined books and I doodle too. This one is great even if wavy. I write down everything and cross it off too. Nice you have Miss Em. If you ever buy something you can have her ashes spead there and know she is close. Love that color too!

studio lolo said...

Lovely colors those elderberries make. I hear they make a nice wine as well ;)

Suki, I've returned many ashes to pet owners and this is by far the prettiest box I've seen. It's nice to know she's with you again even in this form. It's another part of closure and sweet remembrance.

I think your wavy journal just might have many stories yet to come. Perhaps one of you finally finding your forever home.


willow said...

I adore that squared paper, too. When my notebook filled up last month, I couldn't find a replacement, and had to make do with regular lined paper. humpf.

That elderberry stain is amazing!!

Robin said...

Well, YOU KNOW how much I adore the Elderberry stain! Beautiful colour!

I love your Moleskin....I 've heard so much about them...but have never seen one before. (Don't laugh....) Remember I am the one non-artist among you all...
I love the idea of having one though and being able to write ir draw when the mood takes you.... Love the squared paper - and actually like the water-wrinkled is so old-worldly....and that is something I adore!

I did keep diaries for years...since I was 7 or 8....but stoppped all that last year....

Emily's wooden box is as beautiful as she..... I love the idea of a carved, flower-covered box. My Isolde is in a silver vase....
I always buried my other pets too....but I am glad to have her ashes with me. How lovely for the vet and Staff to have enclosed a card.... Emily was such a beauty - I am sure meeting her touched all the Vet Staff a lot.

I know having Emily return home has added to your sadness....but she is with you again....and that is a good thing....I hope you showed her box to Bibbity.

Your natural ebbulience WILL rise again. Also, I know you well enough now to know a few days of left-brain-ism is draining!
Pippi WILL rise again! ;)

THinking of you and sending love,

♥ Robin ♥

p.s. Visualising all the Turkeys in the field makes me smile...

Katiejane said...

That is a beautiful box for Emily! I have cremated every animal I've owned since I married. I now have four dogs and two cats here with me. I like knowing that they are still, somewhat here. I got sympathy cards from a couple vets. I, too, was surprised when I got the first one. As a past dog groomer I will say that I always sent a card to my clients who's pet had died.

I know what you mean about your book. I have accumulated 23 journals now and I will never let any of them go. Hang on to it.

Cynthia Pittmann said...

Beautiful notebook and elderberry color, Suki. Sorry to hear about the lose of your cat, MS Em. How kind to receive condolences from your Em's vet. I hope you feel comforted.

Your new blog design is magical! The outline on the sidebar highlights the text and images so well.

Teri and the cats of Furrydance said...

Love the purple, fruity paper. And oh how perfect Emily's box reminds me of those boxes I used to collect in my hippie dippie days (made in India maybe) and I too get great comfort having 'the cats who came before' with me. It is nice to 'pat' them when you think of them...that's how it feels to me.

marianne said...

What a beautiful box for Emily!
This way you can take her along when you move.......

Hope your hurt heals day by day dear.....


Marion said...

"I need my wild woman to wake up." Oh, me, too!

I found a small, seedy plant the other day which I haven't looked up yet. It's flower heads were bright red and covered in seeds. When I squished those seeds the most amazing true red colour appeared. I thought how wonderful it would be to use the colour in paintings.

Your box is beautiful. It's comforting to have those ashes close...and I second the others can take them with you when you move.

Blue Sky Dreaming said...

Wonderful color, just like my new magenta!
Your notebook is wonderful all ruffled and wavy and 'lived in'!
Good luck waking up your 'wild woman'!

Lisa at Greenbow said...

I wouldn't give up on a notebook either if I liked it. I don't care what happens to it. I am glad Ms Em is safely with you now. Try to be of good cheer. Good things will come your way.

~Babs said...

Interestingly enough, I've never kept journals,or diaries.I do have many lists of things, and lots of snippets of this and that on paper shoved into different places.Journals would be much nicer.
That's a beautiful Emily box.It's comforting having that, I'm sure.
It's been my experience that vets are often much more thoughtful than people docs.We've had sympathy cards and Christmas cards from them in the past. When Mille had her toe amputated, the vet personally called every day for a while to check on her.That just feels so good!

Kim said...

Suki, I am loving this elderberry color! On the white paper, it looks like huckleberry ice cream! Yum! You know I think the wet pages in the notebook are really appealing. I love the way they look when they are stacked. When I was doing a lot of design work, I used gridded paper all the time. It is so easy to not only make notes, but to work out design issues. Now, I just use blank paper. I also ADORE moleskines. They have a lot of new products which are also very appealing. I use the calender books every year and also use a nice A3 watercolor sketchbook. I love the new A3 and A4 size books!

I don't think this is a down beat post. It is an honest post about how you are doing and what is happening in your life. Loosing your kitty is a hard thing and it seems as though you are handling it well. It is a part of your life and a part of who you are! That is not sad - that is honest! I am glad you have your kitty who was such a part of your life. She deserves the honor and so do you!

Anonymous said...

That's true. My vet always sent a sympathy card. The box is lovely.

Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

Hi Suki, Thanks for the comment on my blog. I posted something else above it, after you commented, about a contest I entered Annie in on Fifi Flowers blog. Please check it out and see if you like our annies photo and vote for her if you do. she is #36. I would appreciate it. Its over aug 2nd Cris

Kimmie said...

I feel like that lately too ....
your random thoughts about things are like echos.
Your moleskine journal is special even if all you've been writing in it lately are lists etc. .... your stories can still spill out in the middle of all the mundane stuff - it seems more real that way

I'm very sorry you lost your kitty ... and your mom too

glitz said...

Hi Suki,
The elderberry stain is an amazing colour - such a wonderful purple - the colour of the third eye chakra - an indicator of your intuition and sixth sense.
It seems you are very reflective at the moment - perhaps thats just where you need to be right now.
Cut yourself some slack, as we say, and just let yourself BE.
Maybe the purple is telling you something?