photo: turned leaves. I am so ashamed and such an idiot. It is hard to believe I have created so much chaos out of wanting to buy a place to live. About an hour or so after I wrote in my journal (see previous post) I received a phone call from my Realtor. You recall I had backed out of the offer to purchase the house and might or might not get my earnest money back. I didnt know yet.
My Realtor said the seller's Realtor indicated the sellers might come down on their price as they wanted to sell the house so they could buy another one. She suggest we offer a price ten thousand dollars lower than the price we had previously agreed upon. I got excited and danced around and my adrenaline swooped up.
Photo: fungus for M. Heart We hung up so she could call the sellers Realtor. VERY quickly, she called back (was this all a faked up thing to get me back in the game?) and said the sellers wouldnt budge a dollar lower than the previous price agreed on. I said well I had to back off and think about this. My realtor kept talking and I found myself saying I would pay the original price. I did the same exact overbidding thing I had done originally. I ran out and mailed a large check for a depost along with the Purchase and Sales agreement to my realtor.
Photo: more fungus I am NOT good at pressure and doing things fast. I can do it, but I do it without time for thought. That evening I was filled with remorse. Why had I again agreed on that high price plus sent along even more money?? How weak and gullible and persuadable a person am I? To give myself credit, I did not call the realtor and ask to put in a new bid. She called me. She is a seasoned salesperson and knows how to manage people. I put the blame, if there is any, fifty/fifty.
This morning I called my lawyer and realtor and told them once again I wanted to back out. Although the realtor had not yet received my check, and although I asked her to hold on to it and mail it back to me rather than turn it into the sellers realtor, on advice on my lawyer's secretary, I don't know what happened with all this.
My lawyer won't be in the office until monday, so I don't know what is going to happen. I may lose a five figure sum of money. With that, I could have sent money to many charity organizations. I really really wonder if I am having a nervous breakdown. I just tell you all this for your continued amusement/bemusement. I really don't know what to do now.