Friday, October 02, 2009

the soap opera continues

photo: turned leaves. I am so ashamed and such an idiot. It is hard to believe I have created so much chaos out of wanting to buy a place to live. About an hour or so after I wrote in my journal (see previous post) I received a phone call from my Realtor. You recall I had backed out of the offer to purchase the house and might or might not get my earnest money back. I didnt know yet.

My Realtor said the seller's Realtor indicated the sellers might come down on their price as they wanted to sell the house so they could buy another one. She suggest we offer a price ten thousand dollars lower than the price we had previously agreed upon. I got excited and danced around and my adrenaline swooped up.

Photo: fungus for M. Heart We hung up so she could call the sellers Realtor. VERY quickly, she called back (was this all a faked up thing to get me back in the game?) and said the sellers wouldnt budge a dollar lower than the previous price agreed on. I said well I had to back off and think about this. My realtor kept talking and I found myself saying I would pay the original price. I did the same exact overbidding thing I had done originally. I ran out and mailed a large check for a depost along with the Purchase and Sales agreement to my realtor.

Photo: more fungus I am NOT good at pressure and doing things fast. I can do it, but I do it without time for thought. That evening I was filled with remorse. Why had I again agreed on that high price plus sent along even more money?? How weak and gullible and persuadable a person am I? To give myself credit, I did not call the realtor and ask to put in a new bid. She called me. She is a seasoned salesperson and knows how to manage people. I put the blame, if there is any, fifty/fifty.

This morning I called my lawyer and realtor and told them once again I wanted to back out. Although the realtor had not yet received my check, and although I asked her to hold on to it and mail it back to me rather than turn it into the sellers realtor, on advice on my lawyer's secretary, I don't know what happened with all this.

My lawyer won't be in the office until monday, so I don't know what is going to happen. I may lose a five figure sum of money. With that, I could have sent money to many charity organizations. I really really wonder if I am having a nervous breakdown. I just tell you all this for your continued amusement/bemusement. I really don't know what to do now.

25 comments:

Leslie Avon Miller said...

I think you did the right thing. I wish the best for you and can't help but say is there another Realtor out there for you? I don't like the way she handled this, and she didn't remain respectful of your expressed wish not to spend that much money. My 2 cents, not worth much...

m. heart said...

thank you for the mushrooms, suki ;)

i think you need a buyer's agent. i can't even imagine dealing with that sort of nonsense myself. when i bought my house i randomly ended up with a woman who was a buyer's agent who worked with me (i had no idea what i was doing) and felt very good about the process.

Teri C said...

Oh gosh Suki, this is all so sad and I can see why you are discouraged. I wish there was something I could say or do but I think the idea of a buyer's agent is a good one.

Lynn said...

I second the agent idea if this is someone who can really be there for you (not with an interest in getting the house sold/commissioned etc.) who can sort of hold your hand, and help you through the process...time to contemplate, when to fold, etc.

Sorry for the headache this is causing.

All the photos on this post are exquisite.

~Babs said...

Suki,
Nervous breakdowns not allowed; only mushrooms.
Seriously,,, I'm putting my 2 cents along with Leslie's.
Like others here are saying, you need someone in YOUR corner,,,and this one obviously isn't.
The money it would cost to issue a 'stop payment' order on that check early Monday morning would be a good investment.

patti said...

Yes , a buyers agent would be especially good for you Suki. A couple buying together have each other to sound off. You have all these things whirling around in your head. Big decisions to make and how many of us can say we're experienced at buying houses?

In the end, if you can't get out of the deal, I truly believe it is only money, a means to an end. Worth paying to get you settled finally in your own home.

Mim said...

I think the buyers agent is a great idea for you Suki - why didn't all of us genius' think of that before?

sukipoet said...

Leslie, in Massachusetts, any agent who is not the actual listing agent of the house, is a buyer's agent. So this person is/was acting as my buyer's agent. However, she does get 1/2 the commission so she is not totally objective.

M. Heart, as said above, she was my buyer's agent. I am not really blaming her. It is my own uncertainty about how much money I feel comfortable spending that is the problem. It is my own confusion and indecision.

Teri, I am the cause of my own pain.

sukipoet said...

Lynn, this was a buyers agent. Thanks.

Babs, the lawyer's assistant told me not to do a stop payment as I would be in breach of contract. So I havent

Patti, you are probably right about that money is only money. a battle rages inside me though. this is basic frugal upbringing stuff.

Mim, she is a buyer's agent.

sukipoet said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kikipotamus said...

I also cannot handle people who are pushy and manipulative, which is why I have a "sleep on it one night" rule. At least you are learning about yourself through all of this! :)

Cestandrea said...

Suki, oh, I had just an idea, perhaps if you proposed 10 percent or 15 of the 10 thousand to the Realtor so that she is more motivated to put pressure on the sellers? Don't know if this is legally possible, but I know that movitation is everything:)

Ok that was just a thought, I'm not experienced with this kind of issue. And just wanted to say that I love the way your describe all this, as if it happened to someone else. There is a sort of gap between the turmoil you are describing and in which YOU seem to be stucked, and the way you analyze and describe it, cooly. This is very interesting. A big hug from me, love, Andrea

Oh and, I would have thought that frugal left brain was the one who held up the hand and said, stop.

sukipoet said...

kelly thanks. in this case, i needed to sleep on it for a number of nights due to the size of the purchase. however, most often I also do a sleep on it overnight sort of thing.

I think it was the frugal me that said stop. Also, having been a writer for so many years, I can often write about upsetting things as if I am a dispassionate observer. In writing fiction, I often "use" my own emotions and experiences, but twist them and turn them until they become less of me and more of the story.

I am not writing fiction here of course, but telling my actual experience, of course from my own POV. The other's engaged in this process would have another version I am sure.

I imagine there are other ways to tempt the buyers to come down. But these guys are stubborn about their price and I am not a good manipulator or temptress. thanks andrea

Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

Sorry you are going thru this Suki, Which I had something constructive to say but everyone has pretty much said it. What would happen if you just went thru with it? Do you like the house? Do you like the area? Can you afford the payments? Maybe its a good thing to go thru with it. Maybe this IS the house. Just the other side of of thinking about it all.

Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

oops.. that is WISH I had something constructive to say.

sixty-five said...

You mentioned first that you got all excited when you thought you might be able to get the place for 10K less. This makes me think that the MAIN problem you are dealing with is the worry that you are paying too much for a house next to a four lane highway. But you LOVE the house! Do you want to spend another winter in NH? 10K is NOTHING in the overall scheme of things, when you're buying a house for a lifetime. I vote that you let your right brain do the thinking and BUY THE HOUSE ALREADY!

marianne said...

Oh................I read your story and I feel sorry for you!
Must be heel riding this rollorcoaster........
But somehow I get the feeling this realtor is giving you the wrong advices!
Take a deep breath dear!
Hope Monday some clear answers will pop up.

Meanwhile I hope your thought won't drive you crazy!

Take care dear!

sixty-five said...

And don't you want to FINALLY get all your nice things out of storage and start LIVING again, near your old friends, and all the places you like to be? Come on - it's just a HOUSE!

sixty-five said...

And another thing: unless the noise is oppressive (and it's probably not), four-lane highways can be good. Fire truck can get there right away when you forget to open the chimney flue, ambulance gets there immediately when you keel over, etc. Old folks like us are MEANT to live in places like that. I've lived next to the RR tracks for 35 years - no problem. Ask that realtor how much that house would sell for if it were NOT next to the highway (she should have "comps"); lots more, I'll bet. Get yourself out of that moldy old house!

sukipoet said...

Cris, I am sure you are right. I just would need to be put in cold storage until the final payments were done to keep me from calling up again and reversing.

sixty-five, I have to laugh at what your say, I mean laugh with it. Very practical really. But the trouble is I agree with EVERYONE. Everything anyone says I agree with and go with and then I back down. I think I am maybe a mental case here. You are right that I want to get out of here, but if on monday I AGAIN say I will go for it, then what do I do to keep myself under control until the closing so I dont prevaricate again.?? A rhetorical question.

sukipoet said...

Ps sixty-five good to hear from you again. I didnt think you were still out there.

Marianne, it is all about my thoughts for sure.

sixty-five said...

email me directly whenever you waver (buyers remorse is totally NORMAL, as I'm sure your realtor has explained; you just have an extreme case of it). Or I can send you my phone number so you can call me. You need someone to hold your hand through this; normally this would be the realtor, but you are not giving her your trust. And yes - I am still "out there". I even started blogging again!

Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

One more thing.. If you cant go thru with this then you wont be able to go thru with anything else even if it is a price you think you like. So you might as well just rent there.
Sounds like Sixty-Five is out there for you. Take her hand...so to speak. Make it a short escrow. Get moved in. Enjoy life again. Best thing we ever did was leave CA and buy this house. Living in a Town house City was smothering us to death. We LIVE now. You can too. We are all here for you.

sukipoet said...

sixty-five thank you for that offer. I may take you up on it. Actually even before reading your comment, it finally occurred to me that that's what I need. People to call other than the Realtor and lawyer to whom I keep saying yes, I'll buy, no i cant buy etc. GREAT IDEA

Cris, you may be right about that, that even if it were a lower price I'd have the same buyers issues. A short escrow is also a good idea thanks to everyone

Annie said...

Wow. Sending hugs Suki, I have no advice :-).xoxo