Sunday, August 17, 2008

A heartfelt thank you to everyone who sent responses and kind thoughts regarding my sister-in-laws death. My brother is doing well, preparing his house to receive company: his wife's brother and sister, on Monday. Tuesday is the service and a small gathering afterwards. Truthfully, I have not attended many funerals, often opting not to go. And for my dad, we just had a small memorial here at his home. I honor those passing in my own quiet way, saying prayers and trying to be present in the present moment. For my brother, I will attend the funeral, and cook a quiche and make a salad for the afterwards. Today lots of driving to get wine, ingredients, and copies of the papers for the obituary notice. I have been reading your posts but generally not commenting. Namaste, Suki

photo: my brother's back field

26 comments:

Kim said...

Suki,

I have just briefly read over your blog. Please accept my sincere sympathy on the loss of your sister-in-law. I am sure you will be great support to your brother now. It is a difficult thing, but you sound as though you are really in a good place with this. I am glad. You know I am always here to talk with you about it, if you find the need. Everyone works through the process in their own way...I am just sorry those you love are now having to find their way through these emotions.

I will come back later to speak about your other posts. For now, please know I am reaching out to hold your hand, if you have need of that.

Here is a big hug for you, my dear Suki!

Annie said...

Big hug and lots of love. This will be a busy week for you, take good care of yourself during all of it :-).

Honour said...

Dear Suki

I am so sorry to heaer about the death of your sister-in-law. There must have been a great relief that it was a peaceful passing for her; that you could sit with her and your brother a while afterwards.

What a wonderful tribute to her that you are thinking of the things that she loved - whatever they may be. You even brought that to her in her last couple of days as you talked of the hummingbirds. And, I know exactly what you mean when you see the little bit of sparkle in them still - that little bit of childlike wonder. That is how they should be remembered ...

Peace and love to you and your family during this difficult time Suki. We are all here for you.
Roxanne

Cestandrea said...

Dear Suki, I'm so sorry for the loss your family is going through, what a strenuous and sad time. A big hug to you, I hope that you and your family, your brother and your Sister in Law's family will have a quiet and good ceremony, and send you courage for the preparation of it all! And blessings to your Sister in Law on her way to something else.
Andrea

Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

I will be thinking of you during the next few days. Big hug

Mary Richmond said...

will be here....love to you! namaste!

Patti said...

Peace to you and your family. A time to be gentle with yourself and others. Namaste.
Patti x

CHEWY said...

Suki,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I'm sure your attendance at the funeral will be a comfort to your brother.

WILSONART said...

You've been on my mind all day.
It's a difficult time to get through,but His Grace is sufficient to see us through these times.
So nice of you to make food, and be there as support for your brother. I'm sure it all seems quite unreal, and it will for a while.

Lynn said...

I would imagine this would be a time of contemplative reflexion on life and on death Suki. I would not expect you to be anywhere else or doing other than what feels right and best for you at this moment in time.
Kind of you to be there for your brother. I am sure he'll appreciate your help and presence.
Flowing hugs from me to you.
Be gentle with yourself.

marianne said...

Take care Suki!
Will think of you and your family tomorrow
Love >M<

human being said...

very kind of you to cook and prepare a meal for the ceremony...

me too usually prefer to honor those passing in my quiet...
and whenever i attend a ceremony, i feel so far away!!!

beautiful field...

San said...

I am sorry to be getting to this post late, Suki.

I expressed my feelings in the more recent post, but let me take this opportunity to give you a BIG HUG.

sukipoet said...

Kim, thank you for stopping by in between your vacation adventures. I am glad i could be here for my brother, and for N. in my small way. Thank you for the offer to be there should i need to talk. Right now, I feel I'm okay. Thoughtful. Thanks for the hug. Suki

sukipoet said...

Annie, am answering these comments after the week is over. It was busy, but I am glad I was able to cook and transport and do what needed to be done. I fear mom was a bit overlooked through it all, but she's okay too I think Thanks for the hug. Suki.

sukipoet said...

Roxanne, what lovely words and thoughts you have written. I am going to feed the humming birds until they stop coming, in memory. Thank you for being there with your kind words. Namaste, Suki

sukipoet said...

Andrea, thank you for stopping by on your vacation. The ceremony was lovely, a beautiful and personal eulogy given by the priest. The gathering after was small but the people were wonderful, my brother's friends and in law's. Sending a toast to N. and sending her off into the stratosphere. Maybe she's an angel now.

sukipoet said...

Cris thank you for the hugs and thoughts. I can feel them over here on the East coast.

sukipoet said...

Mary thank you for being there, dear friend on Cape cod. Look at the ocean for me, and most for N. who loved the ocean.

sukipoet said...

Patti, peace to you too. And thanks for the reminder to be gentle with myself esp. as so often in such cases I say things to myself such as "I wish I'd...." But this time, I am not doing that. Things are as they are. Amen.

sukipoet said...

Chewy, thank you. My brother said the funeral was the hardest thing he'd ever done. However to my mind the hardest would be nursing N. at home. Still, to stand up in public and mourn, that's hard for a recluse.

sukipoet said...

Babs, thank you for thinking of me. All went well on the funeral day. I transported the two urns of N.'s ashes home. I dont think either my brother or her brother wanted to. Two urns as one will go to California and one stay here.

sukipoet said...

thank you Lynn for suggesting this as a time to reflect on life and death. I am doing so. It is wonderful to have so much natural beauty around me. Nature, in which the greenery is born and dies each year. It is only natural, once we are born, to die. It is our minds that can't grasp it. Our bodies though, know.

sukipoet said...

Marianne, thank you for your thoughts and love. And much love to you too as you reflect on the death of your friend.

sukipoet said...

Human Being, I think it was Patti that said somewhere it is good to bake and cook at times like these. I think this is true. Is this true for men as well?? Actually, in this church ceremony, the eulogy was so personal to N. that i felt very close and connected. Oddly, I felt drawn to the young priest and his manner, quite calm and reassuring. I am glad N. had him in her life as she journyed towards her death.

sukipoet said...

San thank you for the big hug. i needed that! I read your comment on the other post and I thank you. I have gone through all but the most recent posts and commented on everyone's comments. Blessings, suki