Monday, August 18, 2008

Again, a thank you

A group thank you to all who have written about my sister-in-law. I feel so nurtured by your caring. My brother seems to be doing well. N's brother and sister will be arriving today. I bought five bottles of locally made apple wine. Probably way too much. I sit with the sadness and face again the fact that life is impermanent.

Lynn said something about this being a time for me to think about life and death as it relates to my life. I think when someone close to me dies, it does set me to reaffirm the things I love in life and to reassess how I might continue to follow and or/create a new path that will manifest these things I love for me. In my belief there is only this one life for me to live as I am in the present incarnation. I will ponder a bit, make a few lists and hopefully take actions. My first action will be to get a massage next week. Open up the pathways, get the toxins loosened and on the move outward.

Meanwhile I will bake a quiche. Help my brother tidy up a bit and set up a few little "shrines" with flowers, pictures of N, candles and symbols of things she loved.

Photo: apple tree in spring. Now, we are harvesting apples.

20 comments:

Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

Sounds like you are getting thru the days right now. All these rituals you are going thru help bring closure. So it is good thing you do making quiche and helping your Brother prepare for his family. I'm sending many hugs to help get you thru.

Mary Richmond said...

you are a very thoughtful and willing person, suki, and i'm sure your family is feeling very grateful to have you around during this time. lots of love being sent in your direction ;-)

soulbrush said...

i like the way you are showing us growth and trees and his yard and life blooming all around you, this is what it's all about. even i read about this and think about what i want and where i am going and that all life is so short and must be lived day by day to the full! a massage sounds like a brilliant idea to me, take your bro too. hugs and lots of warm fuzzies to surround you at this time.

Kim said...

You are a precious sister and a precious friend. I am glad you are evaluating your own life and the way it relates to this loss. It is amazing what we learn when we recognize the gifts of life lost.

I am glad your brother is doing as well as can be expected. And I am very glad you are going for a massage next week! You so deserve it and all it will bring to you.

Peace, my friend!

Annie said...

You are doing all the right things Suki. Blessings on you and your whole family.

Honour said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Honour said...

as you talk about your plans, suki, it just reaffirms there is life in everything ... indeed, new-found life even in death.

blessings in everything.

a shrine is a lovely idea. in our filipino tradition, despite our mostly catholic background, we adopt a couple of other asian traditions. one of them is when someone dies, for nine days we have a picture of them in our main living room, with a candle lit every day, and (very buddhist!) we put out some food for them too. my canadian friends / family members (in-laws) found it a bit strange at first, but i like it. it kind of helps us integrate the life of that loved one from the material world to our spirital realm.

take care suki

human being said...

oh Suki... you are right reassessment... starting 'a new path to manifest the things we love'... like this tree in bloom... if we do this with each death we encounter, our life will be more fulfilling and thriving...
Suki, you are so wise and i always enjoy reading your thoughts... very inspiring...

with each death
part of me dies
part of me that lies
each time
more truth is told
by me
to me...

human being said...

BTW, i love that lively yellow in the piture of your header... and the yummy fresh tomatoes in the side bar...

and i noticed that your subtitle is shortened to: prose from mountaintop...

is that a sign of a new decision... a new path?

love

marianne said...

Hi Suki,
Indeed the mandala was for my friend who died.
The funeral was moving.
I thought about you and SIL when after the rain the sun came.....
Hope your farewell was beautiful as well. You are in my thoughts.
My last post (Sunshine) is also for you.
Pity I can't translate the poem I wrote. But maybe you get the feeling......

soulbrush said...

i hope that the funeral was 'bearable. thinking of you today....

Lynn said...

Funerals, the opportunity to be with those who loved the one who has departed this life, to hug and weep together, a community of sadness so as not to feel alone.

I came home from a joyous occasion to learn a very young client, a woman age 22, had died suddenly.
A shock, although she'd been gravely ill she was recovering with hope and spirits high. She leaves behind 2 toddlers and a tiny baby not yet half a year old and a devistated young life partner. I sent him a living plant in hopes he will tend it as he tended her with loving gentle kindness. And in hope that it will give him some bright spot in his otherwise dark moments now.

Believe me, I wondered, pondered why am I allowed to live to my ripe old age, and one so young is taken? This life and death thing makes little sense at times like these.

And yes, I count my blessings...each day I lift my head from my pillow and face a new day...I want to fill it to the hilt and make it count, not waste a minute of this precious thing we know as LIFE.

You do the same Suki, be gentle with yourself.
You are in my heart and in my thoughts in this sad time of yours.

Natalya said...

i am so sorry... my thoughts are with you...

Patti said...

Treasuring the memories is so important at this time.

Baking is a very sane way to deal with any kind of crisis - it's meditative and nourishing and reminds us that life on earth continues on, no matter what else happens.

Keep on looking after each other.

mermaid said...

I am glad you are taking another look at your life, perhaps at another angle. May you learn to let go, and in letting go, receive.

soulbrush said...

how are you all feeling today? how is your bro? hugs.

San said...

A beautiful post, Suki. You have set some worthy intentions for the immediate future. One could do far worse that bake a quiche and set up shrines in memory of a loved one. The massage is good too. Peace begins at home. And in the body.

And your harvesting metaphor, paired with that lovely image of spring, isn't lost.

I send my best wishes for hope and comfort to you and your family during this time of deep loss...

Elizabeth said...

So many blessings to you Suki, and hugs.
Peace-filled White Light and Love to light the way forward for you, your brother and your families.

Hope your Mum is ok, you said on Lynn's (?) blog that she is looking frail.

We had a funeral here on Monday, hence my extended absence - my Uncle died unexpectedly last week. It seems that we only catch up with our extended family at weddings and funerals now, such a shame sometimes (and other times a blessing!).

kikipotamus said...

Suki, My heart is with you in this time. I'm glad you are there with and for your brother now. And what a beautiful idea, to set up little shrines. I never would have thought to do that.

sukipoet said...

I have gone back to every post except this one and left individual comments. Here, I will just say again thank you. Reading all these kind and wise words enriches my soul. Many blessings, Suki