Friday, August 15, 2008

My brother's wife died

At about 8:30 on Thursday evening. My brother was with her and I went over as soon as he called. He was very upset of course. The hospice nurse came and was wonderful, doing the things that needed to be done. Earlier, her brother had come to visit from New York. It had been a gorgeous day, to set her on her journey.

Photo: a squash plant improbably growing through the dirt at the side of the road.

21 comments:

Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

Oh Suki, I am so sorry. You know it is coming but it still takes one by surprise. I feel your grief in all this. But she is at peace now. Time will help with the pain you all feel now.
Peace be with all of you.

Karen Mowrey said...

My deepest sympathy and prayers of comfort to you, your brother and all the beautiful people in your sister-in-law's life.

m. heart said...

i'm sorry suki, my thoughts are with you and your family.

Annie said...

Blessings to you and your brother and the whole family. She is free again. Sending big hugs and lots of love.

Mary Richmond said...

so sorry, suki....and your picture was so perfect--hope and beauty in the midst of what appears to be death and ruin. blessings to all of you....

mermaid said...

What struck me was the squash plant growing as another soul left the earth and returned.

May she be peaceful.

human being said...

we come
and
with each breath we draw
with each step we take
and with each word we utter
we change the whole world...
then
we leave...
do we really leave
when we cause such change?


Dearest Suki, please accept my sincere condolences... may her soul rest in peace...

Blue Sky Dreaming said...

Suki, I am sorry for your loss...I have always found Hospice to be so caring, comforting and helpful in times of loss.
Mary Ann

katie jane said...

Oh Suki, my sympathies are with you in this sorrowful time. I am only now catching up with your posts from this week. I suppose it was a blessing for her to finally be released, but still so hard to comprehend. I wish you all comfort and peace.

Mim said...

Suki - please tell your family how much we all feel for them, your friends are all thinking of you. Yes, you knew it was coming but still...

love to you, mim

Patti said...

Peace at last for your Sister-in -law. Much symapthy for your family at this time. May you remember the goods times you had with her and celebrate a life well lived. Take care x

sukipoet said...

Thank you each and every one of you out there in blogland for your kind words. Sorry to reply with a group comment rather than individually. N's passing was peaceful my brother said. We sat with her for quite awhile before the funeral people came. A service is scheduled for tuesday and her sister flies in from CA and her brother comes from NY. I've been thinking about all the things she loved. Blue, hummingbirds, animals of all kinds esp dogs, ice cream, l'eggo waffles, smoking, talking, soap operas and opera opera's. stuffed teddy bears. cleaning. I didn't know her well, but I know these few things. She had strong opinions and expressed them. My heart is sad. Even though I know as human being says we are on this path from birth. And everyone will experience death in either one of their beloveds or in themselves. Namaste, Suki

WILSONART said...

Suki, I am very sorry too. There never are quite the words for me to express myself in these instances,,,it will be a time of great change, of course.
Know there are many of us thinking about you,,,and the family.
Praying for peace for all concerned.

Claudia said...

Suki, I am so sorry to read this. I can imagine that it is a very difficult time for you and your family, especially for your brother. May she rest in the peace of God and nature...

marianne said...

Oh Suki, so sad to read your news!
I came home yesterday and today I got a card that a friend of ours has died yesterday. The funeral will also be tuesday.
My heart is sad too, but also for you and your brother. You will be in my heart and thoughts.
hug >M<

marianne said...

ps and Mary's words are exactly what I felt when I saw the picture !

Lynn said...

Suki, please accept and share my heartfelt sympathy for the loss of your sister in law. I hope her end was free of pain. I feel for all of you and your grief. Hugs from me to all of you there.

What an interesting photo showing how life sometimes fights to live no matter what might be in the way...Your SIL put up a good fight too I think. Hugs to your dear brother too.

soulbrush said...

oh suki, i am so very sorry, and i apologise for not having seen your blog earlier.
she was so very brave, and so was your dear brother. may her dear soul rest in peace now, and may you all heal, cherish your health that you have, but never forget.

San said...

Such a picture of hope you've chosen, Suki, to mark the occasion--a picture of a lovely something growing in an unlikely place. The occasion is unbelievably sad, but also the hopeful beginning of a journey.

sukipoet said...

Cris, thank you so much. N did not complain much of pain, but she was filled with fear and anxiety which tormented her. Her face, in the end, seemed peaceful.

Karen thank you for your prayers. My brother indeed had some lovely friends who came to support him. And N. brother and sister in law came too to honor her life and death.

thank you M. Heart for your kind thoughts.

Annie thank you for the blessings and hugs and love. So welcome at times of sorrow.

Mary you are so kind. the picture, yes so funny that plant growing on the road. Life is miraculous and filled with irony.

Mermaid, thank you for reading my blog and for your thoughts. Her soul still flitters about the sugarwater in the form of hummingbirds she loved I believe.

Human being, as always such thoughtful words. We do not leave, we leave behind so much of our selves, our loves our words and actions that influenced others. It is true and so well said in your poem. Thank you.

Mary ann. Hospice was incredible, that's all there is too it. After N died, the nurse B came. She whispered to N. I'm changing you into your favorite T-shirt and other things. I was so moved by the respect and caring she had even after death.

Katie Jane i think even N in her heart of hearts knew it was a blessing that had come upon her to enter the coma and to transition to what was to come

Mim thank you. Yes, death is sad whether you know it is coming or not. Though maybe in different ways.

sukipoet said...

Patti, thank you. I have been thinking of the times I shared with N. Not that many really because for a number of years I was semi-alienated from my family up here. They were all pretty insular and reclusive and seemed often off putting when i came to visit. But i came to know N. better in these last 11 months that i have lived here. She was a brave and strong woman.

Babs, thank you for your prayers. I too am like you, I don't quite know what to say when someone dies. I always feel inadequate. Yet the words you wrote were lovely, made me feel cared for. Thank you.

Claudia, I thank you for your prayers and peaceful wishes. Your and everyone's words mean so much.

Marianne, I'm sorry about your friend. We share the sorrow of losing loved ones. Take care and I send you thanks and prayers for your friend's family and yours.

Lynn, thank you. SIL was irish and german, an interesting geneology which made her tough, outspoken and brave. I wish I had told her how brave i thought she was.

Soulbrush, thank you. "Never forget." I like that. When my friend Mort died, he had recently sent me a packet of seeds--Forget me nots. Gives one chills. Did he know? That is a gift we can give those who die before us I think, to remember them.

San, thank you. 'hopeful beginning of a journey." Yes, N's journey into the unknown, and my journey onward with the renewed awareness of the fragility and impermanence of life. I too feel like that squash plant, planted in a random ground and growing,despite the oddness of the soil.