Saturday, February 02, 2008

Baby Crow hello

I thought of baby crow last night. I got really, really angry. I know this photo shows a crying baby but I liked it and the pictures of angry people I didn't care for. I suppose it doesn't matter what I got angry about specifically. I felt overlooked and ignored by my brother from whom I wanted a piece of information. On his phone I just got the answering machine. Their machine is particularly horrible as it has that disembodied pre-recorded voice, not my brother's voice. He never called me back either.

And the anger swelled up in me so strong. One part of my mind knew the details didn't matter and my thinking mind was blowing them out of proportion and that I just needed to wait until the next day and all would be revealed. It is just that communication is so important to me and I seem to have a history of association with people to whom it does not seem as important. Of course, that would include that I'd like the communication in MY time frame. Jeesh. Get over it Suki. The world does not revolve around you and your time frame.

Still, as this happened in the evening, my adrenaline was pumping and it took me several hours last night to get to sleep. And I did it all to myself in reaction to something not happening in my time frame. I still think my bro could have given me a telephone call to confirm that the package for me had been delivered at his house by mistake. I would have done so for someone. But again, the world, thank goodness, is not populated by a zillion Suki's.

Not to mention I might have compassion for the fact that bro is overburdened and burned out re: SIL.

Still, Baby Crow, I thought of you and your angry time a way back. Many blessings, Suki

8 comments:

Cris in Oregon said...

Isnt it funny how we can get ourselves so upset over nothing much really. I am guilty of it too. And then it turns out to be not any of what I was thinking either. Hope you got your package.

human being said...

Wow, Suki! You are a gem!
Once you said you might have got some crow genes... now i'm sure you are a perfect crow; so able and skillful to find sparkly things in junk...

You started with your (self)... hurt and angry ... how frankly you let you inner feelings pour out.... then, little by little, you saw the other side of the coin, too:
your brother under a burden...
And a balanced conclusion...
He's got justice on his side, so does the baby crow...

Through your real story, we learn a very important life lesson.
Others should be respected, but what about our(self)? It needs to be respected, too.
If not, that inner child starts whimpering because of being neglected...
That anger was the sign.
The issue was not important .. but it was the last straw...
It is always so... we tolerate a lot, then a tiny incident blows us up.
Suki, talking and writing has got a magic you know well... the magic of change....
Think we'd better talk loud some time before the last straw...

A great post...
Hugs.

ANDREA said...

Suki, I hope this thing has "flown" by now, I mean that your anger has melted into something else. I know this "in my time frame" issue. It can stress us very much. Anger. What a challenge. Have a good Saturday, with or without anger.
Love
Andrea

human being said...

Suki check this out:
http://60b460.blogspot.com/2008/02/tangent-blanket.html

It's on Forever Young blog... relates much to your baby crow.
:D

myla said...

Hi dear Suki,

Thank you for your comments. Good u liked Kwaidan. I am not in Australia yet, but I'm busy making arrangements. My course begins on Feb. 11 but I have no entry visa yet. sTILL i HAVE KEPT MY FINGERS CROSSED. Love, Myla

kikipotamus said...

Oh, this being human stuff is for the crows. Some days I don't know what to DO with that part of me. Maybe we'll take Baby Crow's advice and find the sparklies.

Lynn said...

Well my heart goes out to you Suki.
I could relate today. Not maybe as angry as you were...but I was at the fabric store and forgot what size needles I needed. I called home to ask DH to please look and tell me. He did not answer the phone. I walked around the store, and waited, and called again. I called his cell. I called the house phone. Did he die? I hadn't been gone long at all.

Got home and asked why he didn't pick up the phone.
Reason #1. It may have been my sister and I didn't want to be interupted during the Super Bowl game. #2. I was watching the Super Bowl!

Then I growled at him. What if I had been broken down somewhere? What if I NEEDED you?
Don't do it during the Super Bowl.

Then he said I could blog it and let everyone know he is not so perfect.

LOL

sukipoet said...

cris, thanks for your empathy. Its good to know I am not alone in this sort of thing.

hb Thank you. When you retell my story from your words I see it new. True, it is best to talk before the last straw breaks. I am guilty of keeping silent too. And thanks for the link to Forever Young. I'll check it out.

Andrea, by Saturday my anger had dissipated although it flare up again around trying to get the cell phone working. Oh well. Gone now.

Hello Myla. I will keep my fingers crossed that you have gotten the visa.

Kiki you make me laugh. Best cure.

Lynn your story too makes me laugh. Right, how could one forget. The super bowl. What a crack up your dh is. You can blog it. Course I understand too your anger and wondering why he didn't answer the phone. Why can't I get this information I need. Where is he and how is he? Life sure is interesting.