Monday, December 17, 2007

Patchwork of stories

WEATHER: Six more inches of snow on the weekend and cold winds blowing. But sunny at 14 degrees.

POISON: I poured ice melt on the path and my brother later told me it was ant poison. I wondered why it was brown. He and my Dad before him had put the ant poison in an ice melt jar and did not relabel it. Of course, I was upset as every time anyone walks to the door now they walk through ant poison and my cats were going out that door too and sitting in it.

No one here seems upset about it. For my part I decided to use a different door but mom can't use it as it has 3 icy steps. I fear the poison will be there till spring when the soil can be turned. It sticks on people's boots and tracks on into the house. So I vacuum a lot.

The irony is that I spent two weeks when I first came up here seeking out and getting rid of all the poisons and there were a lot. For apples, for bugs, for flying insects. Tons. It's hard to believe that my father, a scientist, would put poison in an unlabeled container. But he did. And he used these poisons. To see the falibility of one's parents. I guess that is part of growing up.

DREAM: I am visiting my homeopathist who invites me to stay and join in on a poetry group. I try to call Mom to tell her I'll be late but I can't get through. I stay anyway. A number of the group poets are guys from elementary school, although aged. I am surprised they turned out to be poets.

When I leave I must find my car in a large parking lot. In most parking lot dreams I can never find my car and wander the lot, in the dark, being afraid. In this dream I spotted my car immediately but saw it was partly blocked in by another car. Then I saw some swat team men with guns crouched by some trees. When I reached my car I saw there were people hiding under the car beside mine. Get down, they said. I just want to get in my car and drive away, I said. But I couldn't. There was some "bad guy" I guess that the swat team wanted to capture in a nearby building. I thought it was dangerous to lie under the car as what if it exploded. Then I saw more swat team men approaching from the back. I crouched down and soon awoke.

FEARS: a lot of fears are coming up re: driving on the snowy roads. I am not used to this and want to stay home. But I must face it and will go out this afternoon to pick up a present for my Mom.

Be well and thanks for listening. Suki


Anonymous said...

Greetings, Sukipoet...
I assume that this is you, S.P. Last week I came upon the handcrafted book you made for me for my birthday in 2001. Thank you again for a truly beautiful gift. Now do you know who I am? I used the first handcrafted book you gave each of us at D's herbal class as a journal. Often I think of you, K, and S and wonder how you all are doing. Not sure if you are living in the same house...but I shall send a card to you there in hopes that you are.

Lynn said...

When I was a very young girl I took a drama class and one line I had in a play which I have never forgotten and used in jest against my brother many times was: "Some day somebody is going to sprinkle ant poison on you!" This came to mind of course reading about your trials with ant poison! Oy Vey, is all I can say otherwise!

Drive safely and carefully, and I am wishing for you now sweet dreams!

sukipoet said...

HI E. Sure I know who you are. Lots of changes and I don't live in the same place. I'll hope YOU are living in the same place and so I'll send you a solstice card. Thanks for dropping by!! Your friend in herbs, Suki

sukipoet said...

Lynn that's very funny. YOur one line. I also was in a play as an adult in college, TS Eliot's the Coctail Party. I played Julia i think her name was. At the end of the play she goes to Africa and is killed by Red ants on an anthill. I think it was red ants anyway. Yikes. If only Julia had had the poison then instead of now.

ANDREA said...

Oh, Suki, I laughed about Lynn's theatrical reference and your's too; but:perhaps is it possible to put some " neutralizing" stuff onto the ant-poison, perhaps the pharmacist knows which kind of substance can neutralize this. Just an idea because I would be as upset as you are about this!
Your dreams! it is amazing how well you remember them. Sounds scary, swat teams, bad guys, hiding. Thanks for sharing your fears. I hope you'll get used to driving in the snow.

Cris in Oregon said...

This is weird I thought I left a comment here this morning. hmm I guess I am losing it as I checked it out. Anyway how scary about the ant poison. Especially with the cats. And what DO you eat before bedtime for those dreams? ;0
I got your message about TT on my blog. How cool you live so close. Yes I wish I did live closer. What website did you look up? I would love to see that too. A museum for her. Wow. Her Mother was an Artist too you know. Now her kids are artists.
sorry I didnt get this comment to you early. I must have gotten side tracked. Mind is going? lol

human being said...

Thinking of that poison and those lovely cats who like licking themselves all the time, I can imagine how restless you might be...
What about some hot water? Can't it be washed away by that?

And that thoughtful sentence at the end of the episode of the poison:
To see the falibility of one's parents. I guess that is part of growing up.

This is so true.. just in this way we can grow...

Dreams.. I love them they teach us lots of things about our inner self...
Maybe that theme of parking lot and looking for your car suggests a kind of doubt you have about your quest in life .. your true talent... may be something within you calls you to pay attention to it.. maybe that poet part of you has been ignored for some time and now you should pause(park your car) to decide.. you have ignored it maybe because of your responsibilities ... in your dream you want to stay with the poetry group but at the same time you are worried about your mother... you have a fight within.. those swat team and guns denote this... your dream tells you to pause and decide.. you should answer this call .. that poet side of you is angry and needs more attention...

Sorry for interpreting your dream... I love all symbolic and enigmatic things and want to decode and understand them.. this is my weak point.. I can't sit silent.. :D

sukipoet said...

Andrea, thanks for the thought about the neutralizing stuff. I'll check that out. human being, you suggested water which might work except there is no pavement under the poison, just dirt and I think the water also would freeze. But it is worth a try.

Cris I'll look up the Tasha Tudor webside I found and send the code to you.

human being--you are too much!!!(in a good way). I love it that you reflected on my dream. I am of the mind that all aspects of a dream are about myself. So I agree there is a fight within me. And also that i have a lot of anger. (In the daytime I have found myself muttering to myself a not very nice word. I don't say it out loud. And am trying to replace it with Namaste--sanskrit for I honor the god within you).

I don't think it's a weak point to speak up about one's thoughts and beliefs and perspectives. I wish I were better at doing that myself. I see it a strong.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and empathy.