Writing my novel

Writing my blog entry as avoidance today. Read quickly through one of my novel chapters yesterday and it seemed weak. I bounced into the I am not sure I can do this mentality. It seems artificial to write fiction. Making sure your dialogue is crisp, descriptions apt and not too long, character is consistent and viable, etc. All the separate parts of a piece of fiction that need to meld together and create in the reader a suspension of disbelief. Is there any meaning to it?

Or is the meaning merely an illusion, as is a piece of fiction. Or any piece of art or theatre. They are illusions. Make believe. Or is the meaning simply that I choose to do it thus I am giving the act of writing meaning to me. And maybe at some future time to another.

There is little sense of movement in the process or at any rate the movement is very s l o w.