Showing posts with label frozen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label frozen. Show all posts

Friday, February 08, 2008

Monkey Mind

Japanese Snow Monkey

I have allowed my nighttime monkey mind to influence me and have chosen to delay my trip until the weather is a bit warmer. Why say the details. We all have details and made up reasons for everything we do. And personally, I don't think these "reasons" matter much.

Mom said well maybe it's the right thing.

No right or wrong about it to me. It is just what my monkey mind has led me to. My body wants to get out of here and have some fun. My mind is afraid. Of the cold, of the miles of barren land to drive through with no people around, of .......who cares what my fears are. Fear is fear.

I have asked my friend if he will move my furniture into my storage unit and he said yes. So thank goddess for many blessings and friends. That is the practical part taken care of.

Now to get myself unfrozen, moving again into life instead of isolated here with trees and people who mostly sleep, and with good reason of course, and cats who mostly sleep. It is tempting, believe me, to crawl into my bed with the covers over my head, to yield to passivity and lassitude. But I must soldier on. Life is short. I do escape in my own way via books and movies, but frankly I'm getting tired of these activities.

Still, mom did say to me how much she appreciates what I am doing here. That made me feel good.