Saturday, May 30, 2009

A heart felt thank you to everyone

Wow, I am stunned and touched by everyone's reflections on my last post. Especially since I've been moaning about this for months now.

So much caring and good ideas were put forth.

I feel buoyed up and ready to continue this journey. I wonder what will evolve???

pictures: a wild iris growing in an old trough beside the barn
chives
rhododendron esp for Roxanne who last year asked me to take photos of it

27 comments:

soulbrush said...

you will evolve. and we will be here to back you up.

Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

I think actually you were and are ready now to take that next step. I think you needed that final push and your Brother gave it to you. By saying you dont think you want the trailer now since you counter offered and your Brother has to think about it was your 'strength' point, not breaking point.
Time to act before Winter hits again. In your heart I hear the cape calling you. We are here to back you.

Elizabeth said...

I just read your previous post.....
Oh dear, how difficult property and family are!
I utterly sympathize and have been almost exactly where you are
(my brother got very valuable house......I was in the US and got a small amount of money.....!)
I don't blame you for venting like crazy.
This would be enough to push many people over the edge.
I do hope you find somewhere you like.....maybe a long way away from said sibling.
So glad you posted the lovely flowers today.

Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

oh dear.. I forgot to mention the lovely flowers you posted. So now I have. LOL

studio lolo said...

Beautiful flowers Suki. I read a friend's blog yesterday and saw this quote.

"Look at the optimism of Nature. Nothing can stop it. Only the ego makes humans pessimistic, and this causes suffering.". ~Amma (Mata Amritanandamayi Devi)

I had a friend nearly berate me for the time I spend on blogging (which isn't all that much), completely at a loss for what I could possibly get out of it. I explained how a few familiar ones keep showing up and before you know it you have a wide circle of people who really care. She didn't buy it. I think I'll direct her to your post and all the responses!
She called this morning to apologize which she should have.

I hope our comments and suggestions were helpful and not overwhelming or judgemental. Words can take on an unintended "tone" and the meaning becomes muddled.

I wish for you the outcome you want.

XX Laurel

katie jane said...

Hang in there, Suki. Good things are in store for you. I just know it.

Lynn said...

I have faith that you will do what is indeed in your best interest and that lady luck will play a hand in helping you find a wonderful abode to rest your head and heart.

I hope for some expansiveness on your part. I see you being happy in a community of like souls...not all alone...but with a place to retreat to when you need and want it. A place you will make into a comfortable home for yourSELF on all levels.

I wish your brother no ill well (regardless what I said before); I feel sorry for him. Someone who depends so strongly on material things for his happiness/security is indeed to be pitied. Especially in that he is not wanting to share them with his own sister. This simply boggles my mind. I'd like to lend you my brother on days when yours really gets you down.
Maybe you'd like to meet him. He's single! LOL

Hugs...Suki...be well...make your choices...and may all good things come your way.

Your photos as always brighten my day: color and life and joy! Thank you!

patti said...

You are very welcome Suki - you know now you are not alone in this.

I love looking at Real Estate and if I lived nearby would most certainly offer to come along with you on your search.

Keep us posted!!

kj said...

transformation is now underway...

xoxo

Kim said...

Suki, you are one amazing photographer! I love these so much!

You know, in thinking about your brother and how he has been. I do feel sorry for him, because he is completely setting himself up to become a bitter old man. Isn't that sad? The thing is, bitter old people like to bring those around them down with them...so go, get away...because you are too precious to be brought down!

Debbie in CA : ) said...

I'm stopping in for a catch-me-up session. Your last post hit me hard -- it seemed . . . so wrong. And then I recalled that God uses ALL things for good, even the ones without a good intention attached to them. Keep the faith, sweet sister . . . your future holds hope and promise and beauty -- I just know it!

I shall continue to pray along with you as the special journey continues.

XO ~~ Debbie

Mim said...

Lovely comments from everyone aren't they? If you look in Portsmouth - let me know. I have a WONDERFUL friend who lives there and I lust after her condo - you'd like her also.

It'll all work out Suki, it's allowing yourself time to get used to the shock of all the recent losses in you life that is so hard. Don't underestimate the impact of those losses - those were major hits and so close together! It takes so much time to get over those, and move on...don't be hard on yourself.

As for your brother - he is who he is. You can't change him. I think he's got his priorities wrong...he would probably think that I have mine wrong. C'est la vie!

We're there for you - albeit mostly by email and postings...but still there for you. If you'd like to meet for coffee or something someday, maybe we could meet in the middle (where is the middle between us?)
Mim

Cynthia said...

Lovely photos, Suki, and a generous thank you, too. I've thought more about your situation with your brother because it's not so rare. Many of us have had to deal with loved ones who withhold.

Your sharing helps others who are in a similar situation figure out their own relationship dynamic and in that way it is a generous helpful gesture <3

Annie said...

Suki, what an adventure you have before you! I know you will find the perfect place to live, follow your heart and your bliss and try to set fear aside. We are here every step of the way with support and love.

Teri and the cats of Furrydance said...

crSuki...just to know it WILL evolve is reason to go on, hoping and knowing there is time for happiness out there in the future and that it is happening now...just look at those photos!

San said...

Glorious flowers. Now I'm off to read the post that prompted the comments that inspired these dazzling, lifeful photographs.

Roxanne said...

Dear Suki, thanks for the reposting of the lovely photo. I love flowers that are blooms within flowers ... (I bought myself a hydrangea the other day) ... I have lots to be grateful for today (will post about it soon) and this is yet another! blessings,

~Babs said...

And you know what else?
My faith tells me that your place is all prepared, and waiting. You will be brought to it, and are already on your way. You have the answer.
It's not just 'pie-in-the-sky' dreaming,,,or wishful thinking. It's real. Trust it,,,trust Him,,,and expect your miracles that you deserve, and that He has promised.For YOU.

sukipoet said...

Thank you again all.

San, I actually took that post off the blog. I still have it in draft form. Got concerned about the personal nature but maybe I'll post it on again.

Soulbrush, as we will all evolve on our various paths.

Cris, that's a nice way to put it. That final push! I needed that. Also the idea of strength point vs breaking point. I am trying to rush before winter but I am sooooo slow about things.

Elizabeth, thanks for sharing your story. I imagine every family does have such stories. It is nice to be able to vent to such sympathetic readers and friends!
a

sukipoet said...

lolo, indeed I was so touched by all the comments. The world of blogging is foggy to those who don't do it. It is such an amazing connection, for sure.

thanks Katie Jane

Lynn thanks for your kind words. I too feel sorry for my brother and actually have for years each time I came up to visit and saw him and SIL in their seemingly to me constricted life. Hey, do you really think your bro would like to meet me? :) I know I will work this journey out, for the hightest good of all. "Make your choices" you write. Here is the crux of my stuckness! I am so slow at making choices.

sukipoet said...

Patti, thanks for the offer. Hmm, a little airplane flight away.:)

kj, I hope so.

Kim, I think you are right about there being a lot of bitterness within my bro. That is in part the sadness. But it is his path to walk. And as you say, I dont need to walk along with him. Thanks for your thoughts.

sukipoet said...

Debbie, I like what you say about god using all things for good, despite the intention behind them. I have often thought that intention is neither here nor there, but the outcome or result is what matters. maybe that isnt what you meant. But it came to mind.

sukipoet said...

Hey Mim, thanks. NOt sure where the middle is as I would have to check out yr town on the map. I looked at Portsmouth on the map, thinking to go and stay in a B&B and check it out but there are so many bridges there. I am such a coward but might still do it. Not much for sale in my pricerange though. I actually know 3 people in the area though not in Portsmouth.

Cynthia, thanks for your perspective. Yes, I surely don't think I am unique for sure and I have always in some form or another been open to sharing my experiences (I think anywya). Just for that reason you state beside getting it out there in the open.

Annie, I need to keep repeating the word adventure rather than drudge of a task. It is an adventure and certainly has fun aspects to it.

sukipoet said...

teri, right. Evolve is a key word. I dont know how or where it will evolve to and just need to pay attention in the present moment.

Roxanne, that is not the same photo from last year but a new one taken a few days ago. I think the bush is more glorious this year than last!

Babs, thanks for your inspirational words. Expect miracles (and I think most of the miracles needed have to do with my thought process than anything else.)

Mim said...

You are afraid of bridges??? not unknown....but...you??? our brave suki???

chewy said...

Chives! Mine are in bloom too.

sukipoet said...

Mim, did you ever read John Cheever's short story "The Angel on the Bridge" which was abt the Tapanzee bridge which is not a bridge I want to drive over.

I am not exactly afraid. After all I lived on Cape cod for 30 years and the only way to get there is over a bridge. A short bridge though some folks dont like it as it arches high. I got quite used to it and had no problem with it. I feel somewhat uncomfortable on some bridges and it just looked like there were lots of them around Portsmouth. So to navigate to a new area and try to orient myself plus to have to maybe deal with so many bridges just gave me pause.

Chewy the chives and other flowers seem especially colorful and full of blooms this year.