Monday, March 02, 2009

a contemplative evening

The other night I illuminated the darkness with these lovely lights. I sat and watched and thought.
Christmas balls entwined with ribbon on the mantelpiece. What am I about here? My pre-arrival thoughts told me one thing. Actual experience has differed. The intestinal bug slowed me down. Now, the wintery weather.

Perhaps I just needed to rest and do nothing although I thought I had been resting. I still do not know any answers. I just look and contemplate and be.

25 comments:

m. heart said...

those colored christmas lights in the bottle are so pretty.

i hope you will not be traveling in today's storm.

sukipoet said...

M. Heart. Love your new photo. No, I will stay another week until maybe Saturday. Thanks for your concern.

Britt-Arnhild said...

Surrounded by colours - I love that.

studio lolo said...

I think just sitting and "being" is a luxury we often don't take.
Enjoy this time with yourself Suki, and may it restore you.

Who's taking care of your kittys? I hope the storm doesn't impede their visit. You know me..it's all about the animals!

Lisa at Greenbow said...

Suki, you deserves some time to contemplate. Obviously the universe thinks you need this time too. Enjoy and heal.

~Babs said...

Hi Suki,
Thought of you in the storm, and wondered about your travels. Then I remembered you were staying 2 weeks.
The lights are beautiful.
San has a post about this very thing,,,the art of contemplation.
Woolgathering.

Lynn said...

What's wrong with just being and allowing what ever is to come next to wait while you BE?
Be well.
Be content.
Be curious.
Be watchful.
Be restful.
Be aware.
Be observant.
Be be be be be
whatever you want to be.
Be.

sukipoet said...

Britt-Arnhild, I like it too.

Laurel, my brother is taking care of my cats. He lives right across the road and could walk over in 2 minutes if he can't drive.

Lisa, thanks. Still, I am chomping at the bit wanting to do a few things. But too icy to drive today.

sukipoet said...

thanks Babs. I'll check out San's post. I must have missed it somehow.

Lynn, so true and i totally agree although I sometimes think I lean too far in the "be" direction, and not far enough into the "do" direction.

Cynthia said...

Lovely color...it's so peaceful to contemplate in the evening quiet. May your thoughts be gentle, Suki.

marianne said...

Wonderful lights and yes sometimes we think we rest but sometimes we need something to really slow us down.......
All answers will come to you Suki, don´t wait just see....

Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

Interesting how you felt tied down with snow at your Mothers and yet you feel tied down with the ice and bad weather there. No place is perfect. We need to find a place to live that FITS us and I think we need to DO and not WAIT on some magic thing to happen. But sometimes thats not easy either.
You at least have another week there. Hope you figure things out. The lights are pretty.

Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

PS are you getting that bad weather that I see on the news up the Eastern Coast?

sukipoet said...

Cynthia, thank you so much.

Marianne, thanks for your optimism

Cris, thanks for your thoughts. We are having that East coast storm but not as bad as other areas as we are out to sea on three sides which often keeps the snow accumulation down here. The snow we did get is icy and heavy but only about an inch of it.

Artist Unplugged said...

I bet those lights gave a warm, beautiful glow to the room. I think the body reveals the effects of stress long after the fact. I was caring for and experiencing the near death of both parents simultaneously, each in a different hospital in the same town. I held together mentally and physically pretty well but after it was all finished I feel I fell apart physically and emotionally. That was six years ago, I don't even know how I did it now. It will take time, lots of time. Take care of yourself.

patti said...

It makes sense to take time now to chill out and just be. There is often a delayed reaction to stress and your contemplation is important. All things must pass. Your lights are very pretty and comforting.

Mim said...

I like this Suki - I'm going to turn off the computer..and sit in front of the fire with a good book, and will probably take a well deserved snooze.

kj said...

suki, while there is so much wisdom here in reminding you/us to just 'be', i want you to know i understand the lonliness that can surround that and the fear of not knowing where or how to head next. i don't know if that helps but i think i understand...

sukipoet said...

Artist Unplugged, oh it does sound like you had a very hard spot those years back. I hope you had some folks nearby to support you. thanks for your kind advice.

Patti, thanks for your kind words. I guess I think I want to get things moving toward my new life whatever that may be. But circumstances are telling me to slow down.

sukipoet said...

Mim, sitting in front of the fire with a good book sounds lovely. May your resting be filled with love and light.

KJ, thanks so much. Loneliness is greatly upon me these days and I have been struggling with it so much here on the Cape for some reason. NOw I am an orphan, with no special person in my life like a partner or mate of some sort though i do have many special friends. But somehow it feels especially alone with both my parents gone, and being sick and the winter storm isolation. The uncertainty can be sort of exciting at times but also as you say fearful. thanks for acknowledging that.

Teri C said...

I have seen those lights in a bottle and these are beautiful!! You have such a wonderful way of explaining things Suki.

Hope you are feeling much better.

Annie said...

No worries Suki, all is as it should be. You will know what to do when you need to know :-).

Dianne said...

Dear Suki, I love the candles and lights, they are so contemplative.

Reading your comments to others, I so feel your pain, adjusting to both parents gone, you are missing that parental, unconditional love. It doesn't help that the weather is isolating you. I hope that writing about how you feel gives you some comfort, sometimes answers come from the discussions here.

sukipoet said...

Thanks Teri. Yes, the lights in bottle are pretty cool and easy to make if one knows how to drill a hole in the glass at the bottom.

Annie, I know you are right. I just have to bear with the unknowing for a bit more.

Dianne, it is true that often parents give unconditional love. Mine did for sure and I am grateful. On the other hand I have felt as sort of existential loneliness my whole life off and on. It may be part of my mental makeup. I know I can distract myself from this too by creating and reading and walking. Sometimes I just indulge. Yes, as a writer for so much of my life, writing about my thoughts and feelings seems natural to me. I dont mean to worry anyone though. These are just words and the way I "vent" steam as in a kettle set to boil which vents through the spout.

The Crow said...

You wrote: "I just look and contemplate and be."

Sometimes, that is the best thing to do when faced with a dilemma.

I especially like the lights in the bottle.

Martha