Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Today off

Took today off from blogging. Feeling tired. Drove Mom to doctors. Why does such a short thing make me tired. But y'day a visit to the son and the ex. Ex has stage 4 non-small cell carcinoma of the lung. He was to spend today at the hospital having tests and begin chemo on Wednesday. I visited them for about an hour or more, brought fresh veggies and fruit from the local farmers market. Then the previous day, Sunday, was a visit to SIL. OMG. The change in just a few days. She is bone thin. Looks about 80. On oxygen now. Can still get out of bed briefly but ....so sad. So all these things together three days in a row, I think they did me in emotionally. I needed to rest and may rest tomorrow to though I visited a few blogs and made a few comments. Blessedly it was a GORGEOUS day and I did paint a couple of edges.

17 comments:

Mim said...

That's alot to take in in a few days. so much emotion and so many pending changes. You're right...take a few days off and be good to you.

~Babs said...

Easy to see why you'd have the blues, Suki.
That's an awful lot of negativity
for 3 days in a row.
Such a shame, all the illness surrounding you,and It's hard not to take on the weight of people's feelings and emotions, if you are a sensitive person; which I feel you to be.You must withdraw for a while, regroup,and re-new. I'm glad it was a gorgeous day. Somehow that helps. I'm sending you peace,,,,,,

patti said...

They say the carers need to especially take care of themselves or there is no energy left for those being cared for.

So take lots of good care of you. I hope you find a lovely place in the sun to re-charge.

Katiejane said...

I certainly agree with all the others, please rest and take care of yourself, mentally and emotionally. You are a good person, holding up, and holding everyone else up as well. Peace be with you.

Umā said...

there is nothing like witnessing illness to take the wind out of your sails. it's exhausting, and i hope you find renewal by taking some time for yourself and doing things that you enjoy.

Anonymous said...

My God, Suki anyone would be done in by all that. BIG hug and take it easy, be kind with yourself.

Roxanne said...

Oh yes Suki - those kinds of things are exhausting. And the only way to cope is to really listen to yourself and what you need - which you seem to be doing ... peace to you ...I like what wilsonart said - withdraw, regroup and renew...

Anonymous said...

Never forget to take time to smell the roses.....or just doing nothing

Unknown said...

Suki, I have this book, the author is a healer, ever since I read the book, I imagine myself in this golden giant bubble, connecting to the energy of the universe so that the people around me can connect to this energy and not to my personal "provision". I know you said something like that to me, one day, perhaps we read the same book. Sounds selfish but I think it isn't, to disconnect the others from one's own energy. So that we can help them longer.

I can so understand that you nead a break, and I wish your ex and your SIL well!.Hope you have another fine sunny day to make you feel creative!
love
Andrea

Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

Yes sometimes we DO need to take a bit of time for ourselves to be good for others when they need us.
Cons accident was bad but it will heal and life will go on. What you are dealing with is much harder. Seeing someone waste away and the prospect of someone else maybe going thru it too. Peace be with you too.

Andrea and Kim said...

Suki, REST! You do need the rest, my friend! This is a great deal to contend with right now. The brutality of this horrid disease is difficult (because I don't have a more descriptive word) to have and difficult to watch. You are a beautiful person and a precious care giver to all of those people in your life. Just do not forget to take care of yourself these trying days.

I send you lots of energy as you work through these things. Take a deep breath and try to get some renewal time for Suki!

Here is a Big Hug for You!

marianne said...

O suki, I can imagine that you feel tired! All these emotions take a lot of energy!
I hope you can think of a way to restore your energy and that you get the oportunity for that. Take care dear friend!
I will send you lots of light and healing energy.
love Marianne

Lynn Cohen said...

Oh Dear Suki,
I can well imagine you are on overload with all this illness in your families. Too, too much to bear. My heart goes out to all of them and to you too. Oy.
Just going to send some gentle hugs your way...absolutely no expectations that you repond in anyway...just take them in okay?

Love and caring....((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))

mermaid said...

Rest is underestimated. Sleep peacefully, and release all of the energy of others to feel your own again.

marianne said...

Sending you light and energy today as well. Get well soon Suki!

ps
An award is waiting for you on my blog!
Love >M<

human being said...

the best decision...
me too am off and on these days...
:)

soulbrush said...

you are being sent some very powerful messages this year as impending death is all around you. i lost 12 people in my family from 1980-1984, 4 a year...so know what you're feeling and watching and dealing with on a daily basis. what can i say, except 'i know'....so lots of very heartfelt warm fuzzies are being sent to you to help ease this huge burden.