Weather report. MINUS 20 degrees out this morning.
From The Forest Lover
"Has it ever occurred to you that to clutch at life fearfully, unwilling to spend it, is not a form of gratitude to God for life?" P350 Note: this is a fictional Emily speaking to her sister.
I respond strongly to this quote. Often it has seemed to me that I clutch fearfully and do not spend life. At times I have not lived my life fully using my talents and skills to create something strong and firm in the world. I timidly hide in my house or room and do not go forth.
I see this too in my family who are hermits, fearful often and retiring. (Although in his younger days Dad was a physician, Chief of Pathology at a Connecticut hospital and teacher at Yale--once retired he RETIRED from an outward life). My family does not spend and this includes money. They clutch things and although Dad was always generous towards his children, my parents seemed to withdraw from being generous (with time, talents etc) with the larger world and with themselves once Dad retired. They bought next to nothing, never traveled, rarely did anything I would consider fun, never went to movies (they didn't understand movies they said) or concerts or anything much.
Yet when I asked them about this they said they were doing what they wanted and were happy. I know this sounds like I'm complaining about how they lived their life. I think it's more I am looking at it and knowing I do not want to fall into this same way of living. I think it is in my genes to withdraw and not spend so I am going against a sort of innate tendancy. But, like this fictional Emily, I also have a part of me that wants to spend life while I am able.