Tuesday, October 04, 2011

October restlessness

I havent posted much lately. Feeling weepy inside. Sometimes a good hour of yoga helps with that, but I think the chill and rain add another layer of weep and I am stuck. And confused. Should I give in and rent a house in the geographical area I think I want to be in? Or should I hold out for a home of my own albeit in an area good enough, but not my first choice.

I know it doesn't matter which choice I make. Really. Wherever I end up I will meet people and find things to do. For all I know if I moved to my second choice area I would meet the love of my dreams, ha ha.

So I read, undo my messed up knitted scarf and begin again, go to a few open houses, pet Bibs, watch the leaves fall, go to poetry class and for now, that is enough. I feel I have been on this plateau for a long time, but there are some wild horses up here and the wind is refreshing.


Leslie Avon Miller said...

that wild horse sounds like a great ride in the refreshing wind.

You rent now where you don't want to be anymore. rent, vs rent.

Mystic Meandering said...

Lots of restlessness out there these days as I read blogs; a lot of people in transition...

Maybe you don't need to make a decision right now. But only ask - what is needed here? And let the answer come to you in the unfolding of things - watching for little signals.

I'm doing the same here... Listening deeply within for the Voice of Inner Wisdom, although it appears to be silent at the moment - darn. So our task is to wait and listen, and just being with the restlessness of life for the time being... I need to heed this as well. :)

glitz said...

I get this feeling sometimes - am I being patient or inert?
You can only pay attention to the signs.
Have you read the Tao to Ching? There's lots in there about doing much by doing nothing.
Wishing you inspiration!

Blue Sky Dreaming said...

October is a mixed bag for birthday people like us...some endings and some beginnings...hard to move on. It rained yesterday and for me I knew I had arrived at Autumn. Good that you know about being okay wherever you go...you'll know when to leave. Your pumpkins are beautiful.

sukipoet said...

Leslie, good point.

Mystic, I know the answers do come in the unfolding rather than in my forcing things.

Glitz I do read the Tao and have notes from Watts reflections on the Tao in my little spirit book. I love the do nothing and all will happen idea.

blue-- I hope you have a lovely birthday month.

Lisa at Greenbow said...

October is always a month that makes one want to migrate. You have to know yourself to be able to make a choice that is good for you. If you are stuck maybe a move would be good. Get out of this rut. What ever you choose you can do it...if you want to.

Katiejane said...

Moving on can be tough. I'm starting to meet people here in my area. I'm also thinking of finding a furnished cabin in Asheville to live in for the winter months. That is where I'd really like to live but common sense and health issues keep me homebound. This way I could have the best of both!

kimmie said...

I'm hoping you have peace ... And your decision feels like the right one .... Whatever it is.

marianne said...

I think you should listen to your heart.
Maybe you have been there now too long and that makes you afraid to move. But I think you should get out of there and move to a place where the wind tells you it is good :)
You know just remember how to listen again.

Good luck with the October blues....I am sensitive to that as well but I have been so busy and the whole September was unusual good and warm weather so it didn't hit me (yet)

Take care
hugs Marianne

patti said...

I have found that the universe likes action first - then things will unfold.

kj said...

gee whiz, suki, these are incredibly wise and caring comments. it started with leslie's 'rent vs. rent' and ends with patti's affirmation that the universe likes action.

i keep thinking 'put yourself where you want to be.' suki, i truly hope the wind picks you up and lands you into a surprising unfamiliar comfort. please consider me a local friend with magic wishes and willing elbow grease.


Lynn said...

I'm passing you the box of tissues.


soulbrush said...

You know my thoughts- 'if in doubt-say NO'....why go where you may not be happy- second choice?? I would rather rent where I want to be than buy in my second choice area. October is hard as we know and feel winter knocking at our doors, but in your heart I believe you KNOW where you want to be- go on- do it!

studio lolo said...

It's hard enough making a move when you have someone to share it with, let alone making this decision on your own.
But I hope you know you're not alone in any of this. You have a team (of cloistered nuns!) waiting by your side to help.
It has to feel right for you, still.
I think the winds off Barrington River are whispering an invitation.


Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

October usually brings with it the Seasonal disorders to many people who need more light. Sounds like this has hit you too. You need to just get out of that place and onto some where you can be happier and if it takes renting then so be it. Like someone said already.. you ARE renting and not happy. Rent and let someone else take care of the house you live in, There is a lot of upkeep to owning a house. Hope you can figure something out for you happiness.

Kim said...

Hi Suki, everyone has good advice, but the one which matters the most is the advice of your heart (your intuition will never lead you wrong). Just contemplating this is your intuition talking to you! Listen Carefully!

Thank you for being such a loyal and good friend!

~Babs said...

Late to this discussion, I would only say:
I agree with Soulbrush.

Renting is not the worst thing in the world,,,unless you're doing it where you don't(or no longer) want to be.
Of course if those wild horses were wishes we could all take a ride,,,but we'd still end up right where we started.

Annie said...

Suki, I think go where you want to be, rent while you look for your house, but only you know what you really want, and you do know. Albert Einstein said "Nothing happens until you move" and he was right. You have to take some action however small.
Also watching funny movies helps a lot :-). Sending you much love and many hugs. xoxo

Robin said...

Suki, I love the photo of the Pumpkins/Gourds..... gorgeous!

I fly home to rain.....(sigh).

I miss you...so sad Lo and I didn't make it *up the Mountain* to see you and meet Bibs! Fate can be so irritating.... but, I feel there will be a next time....and who knows, we might be neighbours next year! I feel the wind calling to me too....

Love to you and Bibitty!!! We'll talk soon!

♥ Robin ♥

Umā said...

Returning to New England after the dry heat and bright light of the Southwest (even for that brief week), J and I are now both a bit confused now about what steps to take next. I am continuing to purge "stuff" and will just stay open to the next phase of this transitional period. Maybe we'll have to hibernate for the winter...but it's cold already here, brrr...