Tuesday, November 30, 2010

A slight abnormality

I am scheduled to have an out-patient, but in the operating room under anesthesia surgery, on December 13th due to slight abnormalities showing up in my ultrasound. Slight abnormalities also showed up in my Pap smear. In preparation, I have had to undergo numerous tests. The EKG shows a slight abnormality in my heartbeat. My mammogram also showed a slight abnormality, although they turned out to be just calcifications to keep an eye on.

I am not sure what to think about all this. It's hard to know what to brush off and what to pay attention to. Test any part of a 65 year old's body and you might find a slight abnormality. Isnt it normal to have slightly abnormal this and that's-- including thought processes? I have spent years staying away from doctors and testings and measurings and comparings of this and that. I only agreed to undergo what I have thus far due to the symptom that happened in October and continued happening-- slightly.

Just being in the presence of these medical people (and I grew up in a medical family. My dad being a doctor and my mom a nurse) gets me hyper and over-stimulated. They are Type A do something about everything kind of people. And do it fast. I am a Type B do nothing kind of person. Or at the least a wait and see if it clears up on its own type of person. Often it does too.

Today I will get a second opinion as to whether the surgery is really needed. Maybe that will help me, but again, I am talking to a medical model physician. Bless their hearts they believe in contemporary medical knowledge and treatments. They are most likely not going to say well just sit back and see if it clears up on its own. They want to be absolutely sure no cancer is there even if the chances are pretty low. I suppose I do too.

Now, when I talk like this I am talking only about my self. For others, if they groke it, I would highly recommend the medical model. Doctors can do some miraculous things nowadays.
Modern medicine has saved many lives.

We each are responsible for our own health and for choosing our own treatments. None of these choices, to my mind, are black and white but full of grey areas. All I know is I want to live. Last winter I wasn't sure. But now I know. Yes, I embrace life. Hear me body, spirit and mind let us heal.


Mim said...

oh dear.

Well, with my mom's history of ovarian cancer, I had an hyster about 4 years ago and it was a weight off my mind to get it done. That said, the recovery took about 4 weeks!
Good luck with whatever you decide Suki - there is no ONE answer

Lynn said...

Well of course being a true Jewish Mother I am going to say do it and get it over with to rule out any bad stuff that might be there. It's what I would do...I am glad to know you are choosing life!
May it be a long and healthy one!!!

patti said...

Your determined attitude will speed your recovery Suki. I understand how worried you must be.

A second opinion is a good idea and will help you decide what to do.

Like Mim, I would say it's better to have the weight off your mind. Only then will you be able to move on & live life to the fullest.

Robin said...

Suki, I understand your being a "B" person and not running to the Doctor for every cut and scrape..... I think it is good to consult a second doctor....but if he/she says you should have this surgery....then go ahead. Aaron will be there for you.....and once you have your fridge stocked with food, your DVD's and books around you....it will be a good time to recuperate now that it's cold outside and it's warm and truly lovely inside. (Because you have unpacked so many of your gorgeous things!)

Yes....it is wonderful, WONDERFUL that you have a desire to LIVE! You are still young....you have lots of art to create, new friends to meet - old friends to re-meet (this includes ME)...and many, many more adventures to experience.

Sending you and Mr. Bibbity many hugs and much love,

♥ Robin ♥

Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

Well I too am not one to run to the Doctor for every little thing. But when I found I needed surgery & it would help how I felt & prolong my life I did go for it & now I am so happy to be feeling sooo much better. Life is good!

Annie said...

Suki, I tend to do what you do, I avoid the doctors at all costs, but I am glad you are going for a second opinion. I will be sending love and healing thoughts your way, try not to worry. xoxo

marianne said...

O Suki, I hope the second opinion will make it clear what to do...
And I hope you will be OK soon again Free from all these "Slights...."
I will also get surgery the 13th, for a small problem and have to stay in the hospital overnight. So we will maybe both be there ate the same time. I will think of you.
I like it when things are clear because I would hate to have to make decisions .....
I think the change in attitude toward life since last year will help you to recover fast.
Stay positive dear and stay well!♥

Anonymous said...

I can relate, Suki! I think a second opinion is a great idea. I am currently way behind on my pelvic ultrasounds because I do not like my OBGYN and his scalpel-happy attitude. But where to turn? They are all allopathic docs who came through the same one-sided system (NOT holistic and often very blind to huge portions of reality). But do be swift. Cancer is nothing to sneeze at, as you know.

studio lolo said...

Suki, you're an educated woman with a right to decide what's best for your own body. As I've said before, I like to have opinions from both sides of medicine if I feel like it, homeo and osteo.

Preventative medicine has helped save my life, that I'm sure of. But all those tests aren't for everyone, especially if you have done fine without them thus far.

I have a 65 year old friend who hasn't seen a doctor in over 20 years. Like you, she self treats first or lets it be and then goes for an opinion if it doesn't go away. Recently she was quite ill and thought she may have a hernia. She was right! Her bowels were being strangled and they did emergency surgery, but not until she asked who Brian's hernia repair surgeon was because he had such good success.

She's quite fine now, and very grateful to the surgeon. But guess what? She's probably not going to see another doctor for twenty more years unless she "needs" one!

I feel you're in good hands and that you'll settle for nothing less.
I'm wondering if your first scheduled procedure has turned into something else altogether though.

Please keep us posted. We'll all be here as you go through each phase.

Hugs and blessings,

Marion said...

Oh, Suki, I'm so glad you're seeking a second opinion! It will be good to know everybody is on the same page.

I'm so glad you have chosen life...the good, bad and the ugly. Good luck with your decision. xoxo

Teri and the cats of Furrydance said...

...I like how this post ends 'All I know is I want to live. Last winter I wasn't sure. But now I know. Yes, I embrace life. Hear me body, spirit and mind let us heal.'

May the future hold good health for you, however you get there.