Tuesday, November 30, 2010
A slight abnormality
I am scheduled to have an out-patient, but in the operating room under anesthesia surgery, on December 13th due to slight abnormalities showing up in my ultrasound. Slight abnormalities also showed up in my Pap smear. In preparation, I have had to undergo numerous tests. The EKG shows a slight abnormality in my heartbeat. My mammogram also showed a slight abnormality, although they turned out to be just calcifications to keep an eye on.
I am not sure what to think about all this. It's hard to know what to brush off and what to pay attention to. Test any part of a 65 year old's body and you might find a slight abnormality. Isnt it normal to have slightly abnormal this and that's-- including thought processes? I have spent years staying away from doctors and testings and measurings and comparings of this and that. I only agreed to undergo what I have thus far due to the symptom that happened in October and continued happening-- slightly.
Just being in the presence of these medical people (and I grew up in a medical family. My dad being a doctor and my mom a nurse) gets me hyper and over-stimulated. They are Type A do something about everything kind of people. And do it fast. I am a Type B do nothing kind of person. Or at the least a wait and see if it clears up on its own type of person. Often it does too.
Today I will get a second opinion as to whether the surgery is really needed. Maybe that will help me, but again, I am talking to a medical model physician. Bless their hearts they believe in contemporary medical knowledge and treatments. They are most likely not going to say well just sit back and see if it clears up on its own. They want to be absolutely sure no cancer is there even if the chances are pretty low. I suppose I do too.
Now, when I talk like this I am talking only about my self. For others, if they groke it, I would highly recommend the medical model. Doctors can do some miraculous things nowadays.
Modern medicine has saved many lives.
We each are responsible for our own health and for choosing our own treatments. None of these choices, to my mind, are black and white but full of grey areas. All I know is I want to live. Last winter I wasn't sure. But now I know. Yes, I embrace life. Hear me body, spirit and mind let us heal.