Thursday, November 04, 2010

The equivalent of beating oneself with birch twigs

Isn't that what monks used to do as a penance? I have been doing a similar thing to myself by keeping all my beautiful things packed in boxes. I don't know what I am doing penance for exactly. Well, the truth is I am both an ascetic and a lover of beautiful things. I could go either way, given my state of mind. Anyway, the above stained glass I bought last year from a local crafter for my new house. It now hangs in this window so I can see it.

A rug also purchased for the mythical new house. It cheers up this old trailer which is completely in tones of beige.

A lamp by a local potter, now on my dresser.

I unpacked my jewelry boxes too. What's a girl without her jewels? The box is one my grandfather made for my grandmother. I love it.

And a quilt made by a Cape Cod friend. These small changes cheer me immensely. I have a health issue that came up. It set me thinking and drove me to get out some pretties. These are all easily packable again. I am also hiring someone to bring up my stuff in storage on the Cape.

Now, I must hold off on house searching till I find out what the tests determine re: my health. I dont want to be in the middle of a house offer and find out I need an operation. A biopsy and ultrasound are scheduled for November 18th. I must drink 32 oz of water and sit with it for an hour before the ultrasound. I need to be full of this water during part one of the ultrasound.

I am not sure I can do it, so I am practicing today. I have the water almost all drunk. Now I can't pee till noon.


Mary said...

good luck with all that--i am in the midst of all this myself so totally commiserate and relate. spent yesterday in radiology. blech....hopefully all will be well ;-)

m. heart said...

Oh dear Suki, I'm glad to read that you're taking your things out of storage, but not so glad to hear about these tests.

I wish I had some advice to make the discomfort of the full bladder/ultrasound thing not as bad. I've been there and it was not an enjoyable morning, but over relatively quick at least!

Robin said...

I am over-the-moon that you finally unwrapped some of these gorgeous things! And...they are gorgeous! All will help keep your mind and spirit bright and warm during the coming Winter! I can't even pick a favourite...they are all great and reflect so much of you! I am happy you have stopped the self-flaggelation with those birch twigs! Enough!!!!!

I wish you didn't have to undergo these tests..... but you are being brave and doing it - and I am proud of you! (Just wish I could go with you for moral support....)

Sending you and Mr. Bibbity many hugs!!!


♥ Robin ♥

Lynn said...

Yes, I think you are a masocist to do this water torture treatment ahead of schedule to see whether or not you can do it!!!!!!!!!!
I have done that before and it is I would wait till I HAD to do it and that would be that. But it seems you are already doing it and are about bursting at the seams now or hopefully have gotten to pee. I am sorry you need the test and pray all will be well.

In the meantime focus on the pretty things around your home that you unveiled! So glad yor are letting yourself enjoy them.

Dianne said...

These are such beautiful things, Suki, they definitely need to be where you can see them. I love the dragonfly hanging in the window, the view behind is also magical.

Good luck with the tests, I have also just been through a whole lot of tests in the last few weeks. They are not nice but we have to be watchful to pick up anything early that can be easily cured.

Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

I too am glad you brought out your pretties and are having your things brought there. I hope the tests show nothing wrong. Keep us posted. I know how going thru tests can be unnerving. I am glad I am done and on my way to recovery.

~Babs said...

Aw Suki,,,I'm so sorry to hear you are having a need for tests.I'm praying that they all come back just fine.
We've spent the month of October with testing, treatments, etc. for the Boyfriend, so I know how you feel.It's very un-nerving.

I am glad to see you are decorating your nest,,,as I know you know,,, that it will make your outlook brighter.It can all be repacked, so why not? They are very beautiful things.
All the best to you,,,,my email is always open,,,just sayin'.

Kimmie said...

Your treasures are treasures indeed .... They are much happier to be out of the box too! You are so smart to "practice" for your test .... At least you"ll know what to expect ... And your bladder will know what is expected of IT! I hope all goes well - health first - then the domicile.

patti said...

I hope no-one makes you laugh while 'holding it all in' or there'll be trouble! :)

I'm glad you pulled out your pretty things - I'm packing mine away as you know and I miss them already!

Good luck with the test. The waiting is the worst. Hugs & healing vibes xx

Blue Sky Dreaming said...

Nice to see your treasures.
My best wishes for you on these test days...usually the staff are very kind and somehow help you get through them...take care!

Lisa at Greenbow said...

Take care of yourself Suki. Don't ever put away your precious treasures. You deserve to see them all the time. Don't put your life on hold for anything.

Natalya Aikens said...

fingers crossed....
and nice to see all your pretties!

Mim said...

I'm glad you brought your nice stuff out but oh, awful tests ! I hate that "can't pee" thing - I feel like a balloon about to pop.

Be well, thinking of you

studio lolo said...

Suki, I tried to find your older post with the dragonfly on your window. Is this the same window? I have goosebumps that this may have been his message~live amongst the things that bring you joy.

I love that you are not only surrounded by things you love, but by things you bought when your heart and spirit were alive! When you were searching for home. But we all know that "home" resides in each and every one of us.

I am virtually holding your hand through these tests. I will continue to email you and you know I am only a phone call away.

And Bibs is there for you. That counts for a whole bunch!

It warms my heart to see you grace your living space with a few of your favorite things.
I am thinking and hoping that this health issue is only an alarm and all is fine. Maybe it's what it took for you to unpack some dreams and pretty things that are near and dear to you.

Now go find that dragonfly! I really do think it's the same window.


Anonymous said...

The burl in the wood of the jewelry box is so beautiful. That is wonderful that you unpacked some lovely items to surround you. Way to go! We will all be thinking of you as you undergo the unpleasant tests. I also have to drink water and hold it every time I get a pelvic ultrasound. Not fun!

Annie said...

Suki, I am worried about you, but I am happy you brought out your lovely things to cheer you. Is your son going to the hospital with you? Sending many hugs and love and prayers. xoxo

willow said...

Suki, I am so sorry to hear about your upcoming tests. Lots of good thoughts and prayers coming your way from the manor. xx

sukipoet said...

Lolo, yes it is the same window. Wow. Thanks for the insight. I didnt even connect the two, the live dragonfly and the glass one.

marianne said...

O my.....Suki I realy hope the test turn out to be fine. the last you need now us health issues. Good to surround yourself with beautiful things dear that is healing.
A wondeful home with all your own things would also help but first things first.
Keeping my fingers crossed for you!
Don beat yourself up,leave that to the monks. You deserve to live a beautiful life, the dragonfly will remind you!

Katiejane said...

Hooray for you for getting out your treasures!!! I know how you feel, except that I only lasted three months before I unpacked mine. They truly do cheer one up. Of course, I LOVE the dragonfly! Hmm, could I copy that? I think I can!

So sorry for the medical issues. I hope they are not serious, and I surely hope you don't need surgery! How awful.

Marion said...

I'm so glad you've unpacked some of your lovely things...if you move, they can all be easily repacked, but in the meantime the cheer they bring can't be beat.

I'm concerned about your tests and will keep you near to my heart. I'm amazed you're giving yourself a trial run with the water...I'm not sure I could drink that amount of water TWICE and hold it for an hour...