Suki, I love this. I embrace all the metaphors personally.Wonderful!
I echo Lo.... this is a gorgeous work... and those of us who have begun to "know you" more can completely understand it. I feel in my heart, you WILL find a new marker....you are listening for it, you are seeking it....and....it will be found.I am so moved.. you are one very talented lady!Love,♥ Robin ♥
This is a wonderful poem, Suki, it needs no changes!xoxo
My advise is.. dont change a thing. I loved it.
This is wonderful, Suki, and I think we can certainly all relate. What a fabulous opening and closing lines!
Ohmygoodness, I was reading down to see who the author was! Only toward the end did I think perhaps it was you writing about your life.Terrific. It has an old fashion feel to it to me, as if written in an earlier era. I'm going to go read it again! Thanks for sharing. And keep writing.
Thanks everyone. I wrote this poem in my head as I took a walk yesterday, then forgot it, then remembered it last night and wrote it out in my moleskin, making a few changes this am.
I love this poem Suki. I only wonder about the word "final" in the last line and question if removing it so it reads, "And make my mark" ends on a stronger note. Otherwise it sounds like things are drawing to a close when really they are just beginning! But that's just my two cents ; ) I think it's really fantastic.
I really like this poem ..... you're echoing some feeling I've been having too! I really love that you have a great big dictionary to go with it ..... always looking for the defining words the defining moments the definition!
M. Heart, I too debated about the word final as to me it is sort of a downer indicating one's final marker ie: the gravestone. But, I wondered if anyone else would think that way.
Suki so many visions, ideas and thoughts in this poem, I love it! You have the talent to express your situations so beautifully. Perhaps we are all supposed to loose our markers at certain times in our life? Thanks so much for sharing your poem, it's truly wonderful,loveAndrea
Wow Suki. I adore the way your words have helped me see. This is what I love about good poetry - the poet articulates succinctly and I see myself in the words. (I vote for final to be omitted.) We have miles to go before we sleep! (Will you publish this on the Re-Fresh facebook site?)
woohoo a wonder poem to go with the ponderings and paint-- love to see this writing side of your creative spirit again and love the poem thoughts.. tho (from my POV) there is no such thing as a 'final' mark to be made as we 9agian from my POV) never 'end'.. and each chapter just leads to another.. dimension shifts but no finality...
I'd change the word final also.Just too final.:-)But I think it's very good, Suki! Intense.I think you should do more of this,,,but maybe you do, and just don't post them.
no changes needed,write more please, the words resonate for me, specially:she didshe saidshe was.She was?
I love this! Describes my life to a T. Very well done.
I like the "final" part of it. We are all striving to leave a mark on the world beofre we die, and I thought this was what you were meaning...striving in the last years (be it 1 or 50) to make your mark! Wonderful poem...really afects you and makes you think! Thanks for sharing it with us, and the world.
I have felt this way many times. I hope it doesn't happen again any time soon. You captured the feeling perfectly.
Just FYI Suki-- I posted before reading anyone else's posts... then later read and found sev with thoughts similar.. including yr own re: the question re: how 'final mark" might be interp'ed.. Again, tho- loved the thought and how you created, forgot, remembered .. and wrote. Oh yeah I also found an echo/reference in the poem's images of the term "Book Of Life" and/or as in "Book Of Love" <(As who wrote the Book Of Love? song)
I love it also, and agree with the word "final" too. it's a great poem with terrific metaphors.
love this just as it is ;-)
Suki, you know I always love your words! ALWAYS! This poem is absolutely no exception - it makes me love them even more. Please keep writing, there seems to be so much inside of you wanting to come out, so let it flow. Your words resonate so often with people and you give voice to so many women. Thank you, my friend, this is truly beautiful.
Perfect just the way it is...the metaphors are clear. 'Final' is strong but another choice must also be strong for completion.
I love this poem just as it is, Suki! It's greatly moving...
suki, i read this and wish we could write together sometime.What a strong opening this is:'For lack of a bookmarkI lost my placein the book of life.'look at the statement it makes all by itself.about the word 'final', do you know? if you do leave it in. but if perhaps your mark may lead you to somewhere perhaps unknown, well..it may not be final.i love this poem, suki. i really love it.kj
Ah yes-- I know just what you mean! Thank you for writing this- reminding me of things I needed to recall-- perfect timing!
I really like this poem. So often ideas blossom during a walk. Love it when that happens. One would think it would encourage one to take more walks!
Suki, I cam back to re-read your poem..... and though I undertstand the comments about changing the word "final", I still think you should keep it. Final IS a strong word and there are no time-related meanings behind it... final means different rhings to different people.It truly is a lovely piece....Love,♥ Robin ♥p.s. To digress, I am SO JEALOUS you had a hot fudge sundae......yummmm.
Susan,So pleased to see this creation that so well reflects the thoughtful, essential you. I agree that 'final' diminishes the force of the poem. Best wishes.....pajamas
Hi, so meaningful to me personally to use the metaphor of pages and marks and writing. The "final" before mark conjured the only image for me that didn't seem consistent with the rest --because this process you shine a light on seems to be happening "mark by mark" and is powerful and present and does not have an end point or destination...more like poised and ready for new additions.
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