Friday, March 26, 2010

What happened

For those who are following the house buying saga: I didnt really decide not to buy the house except in a passive-aggressive manner. I had till noon to fax the purchase and sales agreement. At 10:30 I drove to the fax store but returned home. At 11 I drove back to the fax store, got out and opened the store door, then left and returned home. This is the exact point when I think I needed an in person person to hold my hand and go with me. But, I must rely on me and somehow I forgot the Pippi part of me: brave, courageous and wacky.

I have not done what I set out to do. Now, of course, the little house seems so perfect. Just about the only house I've seen that I got excited about. Now, I am depressed and very angry at myself and also I yelled at old pajamas asking him where he got the information that the house was overpriced.

Really, I think I might need some counseling. I am excellent at all the steps around finding a house, making an offer, doing inspections etc. And I twice have fallen down at the purchase and sales agreement (the second legal paper after the "offer"). In fact I think I could easily help someone else with these steps so they might give themselves the gift of a home. But why is it so hard to give myself the gift?

I am sabotaging myself no end. And I have a feeling I dont have much more time to drag my feet. I think some changes may be in store here at the farm.

I know that the end result is not what matters so much as they steps I am taking along the way. What I am learning about myself (even though I am not sure what I AM learning except how to sus out houses and make offers etc).

In any event, I thank you all for listening and giving excellent advice. I now have numerous ideas about how to disguise a 6 foot tall, concrete septic tank and how to utilize 800 square feet so that I can fit into it with my beloved books and papers and antiques. Maybe I can write a book about all this. Will it be depressing or uplifting? Will it end with the climax of purchase and moving in?

from the Cowardly Lyon

18 comments:

Mary said...

awwww....don't be so hard on yourself...i have a friend who sold his house about 5 years ago for a lot of money. the price went up right after he sold and he kicked himself for not waiting to make more money. then it went down in price and he kicked himself for not still owning it. he still talks about it but he sold it and there's not much he can do about it now....you had a lot of questions about this house. the right house will show up. and you'll know it. if i have any suggestion to make it would be to not share it until you do it so others don't confuse you ;-)

seriously, when it is right...you will know. it's like love ;-) it will be your home...which isn't the house part so be kind to yourself...it's all good...

Cat said...

I love the Cowardly Lion!

when the right one comes along, it will be magical!

hugs!!

soulbrush said...

i so agree with mary on two points
a) don't tell too many people as their advice maybe confuses you
b) when it is the right house, you will fall totally in love and nothing will dissuade you. will write you an e mail soon.

Lynn said...

Yes, write the book. That will bring in millions and then you can buy any damn house on the market you want: perfect size, perfect location, perfect everything. You'll be the BOSS LYON!

LOL

HUGS!!!!

I love it, buyers remorse is now non-buyers remorse!

MORE HUGS!!!!

I for one hope you can find something good that is bigger than a shoe box. ;-)

kj said...

Call the agent back. Sign the papers. hire someone
to fax them for you. You've said outloud you love the house. You said it

Just my 2 cents

xoxo

studio lolo said...

Ditto what KJ said.

Is your brother back yet?

Poor Suki. Be gentle with yourself.

~Babs said...

Suki, I can't help but think that had this house been the right house, you'd have known it, and neither hell nor high water could have held you back. Maybe you were only excited about this house because it was the first one CLOSE to what you've been looking for. It's out there,,,some times you gotta 'kiss a lotta toads, ya know?
And like Mary said, don't be so hard on yourself.Just dust off your britches and get back on.

Robin said...

Suki-Pippi...try not to be so hard on YOU.... Pippi IS you - more so than the Cowardly Lion.... you were very brave and very close to making your dream a reality.

I wonder if you are re-thinking what KJ and Lo (both wise women) just said. It still could be doable you could still sign and fax - unless you want to let it go.

There is also some wisdom in the other comments -'Too many cooks" - too much advice... it is hard to follow your heart when you are unsure of just what your heart wants... I know that if you don't sign for this one - you will find a new home this year....

I hope you patch things up with OP soon....

Sending you more love, more courage... remember Pippi still lives within YOU!

Hugs,

♥ Robin ♥

Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

I have decided not to add any more input into this house buying. I think we all just confused you. I feel for you as I know you are so frustrated. Hugs

kikipotamus said...

Yes, you are learning about yourself. I also get really angry with myself when I repeat a pattern for the umpteenth time...especially if it's one I am aware of and working on and thought to myself, "Okay, this time for sure I'm going to act outside my old pattern," and then I don't. I know how frustrating that feels.

willow said...

Cowardly Lion? Nah. You're just in tune with yourself. If in doubt, don't.

Teri C said...

I don't even know what to say so I'll send ♥HUGS♥

Annie said...

I agree with KJ!!!!! It is not too late. Do it. Or do what Babs said :-). Either way don't beat up on yourself so. Hugs.xoxo

Julie said...

Dear "Cowardly Lyon"- you are so cute! Just have fun with it...something else always comes along anyway if it is too much to think about. Best wishes from:
"Also a Cowardly Lyon"

Jude said...

I'm speechless..



apart from reiterating, you don't want a new slate, you don't want to move from what you know? Why this thing about having an area so big it would house a family of 4? All that cleaning?
Take care

Natalya Aikens said...

oh suki..... you will do it when it right...

patti said...

LOL Suki - not cowardly, just careful! If you are not sure, then that is all there is to it. There will always be other houses, better ones, most likely.

((hugs))

Teri and the cats of Furrydance said...

Oh Suki, when I read this post I almost cried. Not at the missed "opportunity" but the awful time you had. I have been in similar places, most often with eating out--I know, sounds trivial but I don't like eating alone and I have found myself trying to decide, parking, sitting, driving off, more than once.

If I had to make a big decision, I would certainly know what it feels like to waffle. I look around my house, way too big (oh for that little place on the lake with the Jotul stove and hot tub--I think I would like the challenge of getting down to 520 sq ft!) and wonder if I had to move, how could/would/should I proceed.

For now, take care of your health and your kitty and wait and unwind. Wish I was retired and could come and help you house hunt...and look at all you have learned and gleaned from us, your bloggy friends...it will be helpful when the next choice comes along, I am hopeful...