For those who are following the house buying saga: I didnt really decide not to buy the house except in a passive-aggressive manner. I had till noon to fax the purchase and sales agreement. At 10:30 I drove to the fax store but returned home. At 11 I drove back to the fax store, got out and opened the store door, then left and returned home. This is the exact point when I think I needed an in person person to hold my hand and go with me. But, I must rely on me and somehow I forgot the Pippi part of me: brave, courageous and wacky.
I have not done what I set out to do. Now, of course, the little house seems so perfect. Just about the only house I've seen that I got excited about. Now, I am depressed and very angry at myself and also I yelled at old pajamas asking him where he got the information that the house was overpriced.
Really, I think I might need some counseling. I am excellent at all the steps around finding a house, making an offer, doing inspections etc. And I twice have fallen down at the purchase and sales agreement (the second legal paper after the "offer"). In fact I think I could easily help someone else with these steps so they might give themselves the gift of a home. But why is it so hard to give myself the gift?
I am sabotaging myself no end. And I have a feeling I dont have much more time to drag my feet. I think some changes may be in store here at the farm.
I know that the end result is not what matters so much as they steps I am taking along the way. What I am learning about myself (even though I am not sure what I AM learning except how to sus out houses and make offers etc).
In any event, I thank you all for listening and giving excellent advice. I now have numerous ideas about how to disguise a 6 foot tall, concrete septic tank and how to utilize 800 square feet so that I can fit into it with my beloved books and papers and antiques. Maybe I can write a book about all this. Will it be depressing or uplifting? Will it end with the climax of purchase and moving in?
from the Cowardly Lyon