Saturday, February 13, 2010

Cabin Fever-- calling nurse Ratched

I have not been feeling well. Physically, I have two infections or bugs that are not debilitating, but are letting me know they are there, lurking, in my body, taking up space and energy. Minor in other words.

Plus, of course, the abscessed tooth. I consulted with a second dentist on Thursday who proposed two options, one being to pull the tooth although it appears dentists don't advocate that option nowadays unless it is absolutely necessary.

I recall that my Gram had all her teeth pulled and wore dentures. I always thought getting dentures was a horrible thing dentists convinced elders would be a great option, whether necessary or not. But I may be wrong. At least they don't seem to do it as much nowadays.

As a total side note-- when I worked for the Department of Mental Health in a halfway house for the mentally ill there was also an adult mentally handicapped woman there with no teeth. One of the counselors told me that when she was a child she bit people so they pulled all her teeth. Can this possibly be true?? She had no dentures but loved to eat and somehow managed.

Speaking of mental conditions I have been also a bit crazed in the head. One day running around doing 50 different things, up in other words and the next feeling depressed and down and (oft repeated refrain) as if I will never get out of this frozen tundra, no way. No energy. Where is the nurse to take care of me, kinda thing. Nurse Ratched. Hotlips Houlihan.

Up and down, up and down. According to my Mom, I've been like that since I was a child and I used to drive her crazy. Most of the time I am pretty stable. So what's happening? I talk in person once a week with my son, and for 6 weeks once a week on the phone with the Refresh Your Creativity group but otherwise I talk to nary a soul. Maybe it's some kind of cabin fever. Where is the thermometer to measure that!

Finally I got myself outside for a walk and it was bracing and refreshing. I haven't walked much this year though I walked a lot the first two winters I was up here. Above photos are the frozen pond. Note the bird's nest in tree in the second photo.


Teri and the cats of Furrydance said...

Love the berets as your header...just feels warm and soft and poetic...

I read recently that grief (and I extrapolate that to other emotions) can come in 20-30 minute waves and then be gone, off to another emotion.

And your minor health issues, still are a stress on your well-being, mental and otherwise...and I am sure your being outside did help--it's part of my niggling dissatisfaction with my happiness factor that I don't get out and exercise, walk, feel brisk.

Your toothy tales had me contemplating changes in medicine and how I value my teeth but haven't always taken the best care of them...thankfully they are healthy now with twice a year cleanings and special brush and rinse.

Love the photos of your walk, and even with all the snow and related cabin fever, somehow if the sky is blue, it all feels better. And I like the nest and how things show up like that when the trees are bare

human being said...

seems our energy and also our mood have got cycles... sometimes up... sometimes down...
am sure many of us relate to this...

walking is a very good remedy...
also talking... only when you (not others) get a chance to do the talking...

hope the bugs leave you soon
take care dearest Suki

much love

studio lolo said...

Other than the tooth issue I could be reading my own words. I just can't seem to get out of my own way and I never used to be like this. My medical woe is that my bloodwork came back and my cholesterol is off the charts! I have NEVER had a cholesterol issue prior to now but I did have blood sugar issues. So now my blood sugar is stable but I have to take those nasty statin drugs.
Since I moved I have been eating terrible things ( pizza, chinese food, fried chicken wings, cheese) and I haven't been getting any exercise. Those 2 things alone will raise cholesterol, so the good news is I'm promising myself I'll do the work to turn this around and get off those meds.
The bad news is I always, always disappoint myself by not walking the walk. But last night I had a treadmill delivered and by gosh I'm going to pretend I'm walking to California to see old friends and clients! That ought to melt some cholesterol :)

Back to you, I do think the lonely factor is playing a part in your general health.I know you have an abundance of friends, perhaps you ought to let yourself reach out to them more. I'm sure any of us would be right there ;)
That said, when I feel like this I just want to be alone.
Thank goodness for our pets.

Sheesh. What's the answer?

The fearless threader said...

I know how you feel about the debilitating effects of minor infections and the up down cycle of your life. I've struggled with depression for many many years and have come to believe that yes, I will have down times, but I know I will always be able to pick up later and get on with my life. Consequently I fill my life as much as I can to make up for the down times. So I overdo it all the time then crash and burn when I have minor illnesses, they take me down fast and keep me low for ages. Presently I am fighting a foul bout of tonsilitis and trying to motivate myself to finish my sketchbook page and start a new college project. The frustration I feel when I'm ill is just not enough to counteract the illness itself, even though I have been trying to do thaqt all week. Get well soon, and my thoughts and empathy will give you what you need, I hope!

willow said...

Hee-hee...I haven't thought of Nurse Ratched in ages! Thanks for the giggles! I, too, have cabin fever in the worst way. Husband (my personal plow guy) has been out of town all week and I am completely snowed in back here. He's due back tomorrow and then I'm-a-outta here!

Hope you get to feeling better soon. (yes, my post was a repeat...I'm digging out all my old vintage photo posts for Sepia Saturdays)

Mary said...

getting out helps a lot. as for the teeth, good luck. i have had a lot of dental problems over the years. i have a friend who insists all dental problems come from unresolved childhood issues. if that's true i'll have many more-haha! seriously, dental problems stink. i hope you get help for the abcess and your other ills...

cabin fever is not fun...was just in Bourne this morning, by the way and thought of you and then came home to this post. still snow here, very gray and quiet...

Lynn said...

Oy Vey no fun winter blues!
sounds like seasonal depression to me, but I can't really dx you from afar. I think I'd try exercise (indoors if you can't get out to walk, but bet that fresh air walk felt good).
Not sure how I'd do with no one to talk to more often than what you are getting right now.
Are there any in town things you could be doing to get more human contact? Art class, lectures, shopping, library, muesum visits, volunteering somewhere? Anywhere to be around people!!!!

One bad tooth does not have to mean having all your teeth pulled!
A bridge or an implant can fix that if pulling is best option. Or not if it's in the rear and not needed. I did not replace my pulled wisdom tooth. But did replace two with implants that were used and visable when smiling.
I have faith I'll go to the end of my days with most of mine in tact. LOL

Hope the bugs leave you soon. Not fun to be feeling all this and under the health weather too.

Love all your photos hope you are up to creating and that doing so will give you pleasure.

Good books to read, music to listen to, baking or cooking???
Me full of ideas.

(((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))in the meantime. Email if you feel like it.

Lisa at Greenbow said...

Yep, it sounds like a bad case of cabin fever. Get out. Walk. Go to a play. feed the birds. Do something. Talk to people. At least you will have something to complain about. ;)

Leslie Avon Miller said...

My goodness - yes - more contact with people! Some hugs. Some talk. A cup of tea...

patti said...

Seasonal Affective Disorder most likely. Craving sunshine and Vitamin D. If I am unwell mentally, there are always physical symptoms to go with it.

People contact is great advice as well as eating in a nourishing way, exercise - it all helps.

It is true we are all here for you in blogland, but we do need face to face contact with others to be truly well in ourselves.

I am so sorry to hear about your teeth. Those kind of problems can be really soul destroying. Send love (love cures all!) to your tooth and your whole body, it clearly needs it!

Sending you love from me Suki and I hope things begin to improve really soon xx

~Babs said...

Gee Suki,I hope ALL your bugs have taken leave soon!
Hopefully your ups and downs will be better once the weather warms,,,,the cold and gloom certainly effect me. That being said, the sunshine in your photos looks great. Even though the cold still comes through, the landscape and bare trees with nest are just beautiful.
Feel better!

kj said...

suki! i do think there is probably too much isolation. as i've followed you now for some time, you seem at your happiest when you are on the cape with your friends and with the ocean.

i am sorry this is a tough patch and honest to god suki, i've been there too. i am drawn to what teri commented--so wise.

ArtistUnplugged said...

Sorry to see you have been under the weather. That tooth can really make you feel miserable and to have another problem too......I think I tend to go up and down a good bit (plus I share Lolo's woes) but I believe a daily walk would help you and reaching out to more friends would help. Take care.

ArtPropelled said...

Oh the snowy woods look so beautiful Suki, but I can imagine it might get a little oppressive if you aren't getting out to see friends as much as you would like to.
One Flew over the Cuckoos Nest used to be my favourite movie. What a laugh and on the other hand so heartbreaking. I hope the tooth issue can be resolved as painlessly as possible.

soulbrush said...

okay snap, we are in it together here friend. i have gum disease, inherited from my dad, so have a partial denture at the bottom, and although it was hard to get used to, it is absolutely fine now and gives me no trouble, i am losing two more in front, so will have to have them added to the denture. it was a hard thing mentally to adjust to -more than physically, and i have always looked after my teeth!! easy to say get a bridge or get an implant!! money???
as for ups and downs, you know i am suffering more this year than ever before, i have the opposite of you- i don't WANT to see anybody! i know i am depressed, i am on antidepressants, so what! the whole feeling is 'so what?!!!'
i care suki and i feel for you and if you ever wanna ring me, then please do! anytime.

Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

HOpe your feeling better soon. Winter blues can do one in. and if you have an absess tooth it can do your system in too and make you feel horrible. Take care.

m. heart said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
m. heart said...

The winter is reaching its dragging on phase, isn't it? Spring is going to be here soon enough, and hopefully with it a return of energy and motivation.

Anonymous said...

Hi Suki, I'm sorry for your feeling so under the weather. I thought that something like that was going on cause you had'nt blogged so much lately. Hey, it's winter, soon solutions will come round. Sure that a rotten tooth can make us feel rotten all over (hope you are smiling now:), I'm sure as soon as it's taken care of (pulled out or not) things will look better. Bon Courage! as they say here, hang on in there, nurse yourself, perhaps you can talk with people in a meeting forum and even find a nice lonely heart to catch? (that's just me fooling around wanting to make you laugh:)
much love
PS the Valentine's heart you created is gorgeous!

Kim said...

Dearest Sweet Suki,

I am so sorry to hear you are dealing with these issues. I think we all can relate in our own way, too. Creative types seem to have greater leaning towards feeling low (which can sure bring on some physical issues, too or vice versa) and I believe it is because we are so sensitive to everything and so aware of how we are feeling. I can see a cycle for my own lows, so I try to head them off at the pass as often as I can...I know what I need for myself. Often when I don't listen to my own needs I do become physically ill and I look at that as my body's way of shouting at me to "please listen to what it needs from me". I also soothe my head a bit with telling myself the low times actually are there so I can enjoy the high times so much more.

Not any of this may work for you, but I hope you can find what is right and put that into place! Treading water is no good!

As for your tooth, I haven't heard of people having teeth pulled in a long time. I think they try to help you keep what nature gives you. Also, keeping your own teeth helps you maintain nutrition standards as you age.

Feel Better Soon, My Friend!

marianne said...

Oh my gosh Suki!
So sorry to read you haven't feel well! But it is an old post so you probably are much better already!
I would turn crazy and depressed on that frozen tundra as well dear!
I really hope it will be your last year and that next year you will be in your own cozy home in the Cape!
Ups and downs , know all about that!
That absessed teeth.....
Have to go to the dental surgeon in april, had to purspone it twice because of my work.
can't they treat that abcess? Pulling teeth is the last thing......

Hope you are much better now.
Trying to catch up here. Was so busy before I left and in HK had no time to blog.

Take care Suki
Big healing hug!