Thursday, October 15, 2009

I was a dog in a past life

About a month ago I got a massage from a woman I had massages from before. She's more of a body worker than a massage therapist and she does a lot of alternative type healing modalities. This is okay with me, I am always interested in new approaches.

So there she was working on my shoulder, when she said, "You were a dog in a past life." What??? I didn't know she "read" past lives and if she had told me she did I probably would have said no thanks, but there it was and that wasn't all.

"And you were tied up to a tree and left." I think she said more but this is all I recall. She also had me call upon my higher power to help me resolve this past life situation. I suddenly saw an angel who flew with me over the world to new and exciting places.

After the massage, I said I didn't believe in past lives but that metaphorically I could see this as myself because I do feel tied and restricted or limited in some way. Also I often feel a choking in my throat. "No," she said. This was literally a past life.

There we differed.

I have thought about this metaphor often since then. When I practice yoga, sometimes I get a choking in my throat and a release of tension. Also, I do feel tied to Mom's house and have not been successful in flying out of here and getting back into life so to speak. There are no visible bonds holding me. They are all emotional/psychological (I guess). I do not want to remain here, I am doing little of any worth, just reading and watching DVD's, yet I can't seem to cannonball myself into a new me.

I almost did a few weeks ago, and then I retreated back into my doghouse. I am tempted to "blame" my passivity on my cats. I cannot just take off in my car on an adventure to see what turns up for myself. I must be here to tend to my cats. I love them of course. And it is not right to blame my behavior on them. Or on any exterior cause.

This is just a look into my mind at the moment. Nothing much to be done except in my own way and own time. I didnt like hearing this image (although the dog above is a cutie) but it has given me pause. Bow wow.

34 comments:

marianne said...

Wow what an interesting post.

I think there is something in what she she said but it could be both in my eyes.
Either your past life or this life and that you are on the verge of leaving that behind and starting new. Time to throw the leash off.
I think this is just a beautiful experience you had with this massage therapist! Something not to ignore.......

Take care!

soulbrush said...

i would've loved to be snuffles in my past life, she is soo loved, but i know i wasn't cared for or lved, i just know it. unlike you, suki, i spent so mnay years 'running' and now just wantr to find peace. isn't it interesting how we are all chasing after something (even if we feel we are standing still).patience is all you need. soon you will run free.

Mim said...

with understanding comes freedom. think about it

Mary said...

it is always interesting to look at our lives through different windows and different eyes...hopefully you will find something helpful in it ;-)

willow said...

I don't believe in past lives. But I do believe that the lives of all of our ancestors come together to make up our DNA.

Interesting experience at the therapists' place!

Annie said...

Well, I do believe in past lives, but I believe, human beings remain human beings and dogs remain dogs :-). Perhaps she was just picking up on your stuck energy.
Be gentle with yourself. Trust where you are. I keep saying this, but it is true, when the right house comes along you will KNOW it.
xoxo

Kim said...

What an experience, Suki! I think this woman had a message for you and her approach may have just been different. My experience is to move these things around in my head and not take them so literally to see how it fits into what I believe. The other thing is I always give some energy to how others believe because maybe there is something else I need to take away from that!

It doesn't matter if you believe in past lives or not, what matters is how you act on what you know!

Cestandrea said...

Suki, this is a wonderful reading!!!

I just loved the :"There we differed" this sentence in this context makes my day:):)

You are a great writer!
Have a wonderful day
Andrea

Blue Sky Dreaming said...

You had an interesting interview with this massage therapist...we have people that enter our lives for the most amazing messages. New information or just to reaffirm what we already know...you always know best about yourself.

sukipoet said...

Thanks Marianne, I like your sentence: "time to throw the leash off." I have been thinking of this experience ever since it happened a number of wks ago.

Thanks Soulbrush for your kind words. Actually, I too want peace. On the other hand a part of me seems to be rocking my boat.

thanks Mim

sukipoet said...

Mary, yes. Metaphorically it does hold a lot of meaning.

Willow, I believe as you do. I also think some people can see auras and images around other people which is how I interpret what this massage person saw. Only she concretized the experience by calling it a past life.

sukipoet said...

annie, i agree that she was picking up on my stuck energy for sure. thanks for what you say about the right house. hope it comes soon!

Kim I think you are right. Which is why I didnt pontificate to the therapist my ideas about past lives etc. She had some insights and the image she saw has held meaning for me as I struggle against my self made leash.

sukipoet said...

Andrea thanks for commenting on my writing style. I too liked that sentence. Actually I had more words about something else the therapst said written after than sentence and the writer in me deleted them and thus the sentence stood out more.

BSD I agree that each person knows best about themselves. I guess a part of me knows what it wants and another part feels doubtful but maybe that other part is just my "demon" trying to tempt me away from what I know is best. Although not sure this relates to the dog image.

Dianne said...

This is a beautiful story, Suki, and I am sure you have thought about the experience many times. There is so much out there that we do not understand. My husband believes he lived in the centre of London in a past life. He is normally not good with direction - he has never lived there and we only visit briefly. He knows his way intimately around London and cannot fathom how this happens!

sukipoet said...

Dianne, that's pretty incredible about your husband and London.!! A big puzzle for sure. Thanks for sharing that story.

Lynn said...

Suki, bow wow to you too. Too funny. I like how you turned the idea of the dog/being tied up/to your present life situation/how you find yourself/keep yourself tied to mom's house. Could be more grieving...not ready to cut the cord...venture out on your own...I am not doing therapy here, honest, just rambling my own thoughts as friend. I am sure you will figure this all out and take the leap forward when you are good and ready to do so. I wish you well what ever you choose to do when ever you choose to do it.
In the meantime get someone there to scratch you behind the ears and rub your tummy.
;-)

Lisa at Greenbow said...

I do believe that people come into your life to enhance it. I think the message is clear however it is given to you. You need to release yourself. Only you can do it. Let go.

chewy said...

I'd like to think a wonderful loving person came along to untie that doggy. Brought her to nice green lawns, colorful flowers and a new doggy house with a big fluffy pillow... and yummy doggy treats.

louciao said...

I am fascinated by this post. First on the level of "past life" and second with your mention of being stuck at your mom's house. Actually, three levels, because I respond more to your interpretation of the past life situation as being a metaphor for what you are presently experiencing. I would think the massage therapist just put her own spin on the emotional vibrations she picked up from you (or something to that effect).

I didn't know you were staying with your mother. I find this interesting because it is an alternative I've been considering. I'm visiting her and my old home now, and trying to envision staying here...but it seems to suck all my energy out of me. Meanwhile, back at my home on the other coast, I, too have a cat that keeps me chained to that environment. She would not survive a move...at least not the sort of trans-continental one I dream of.

I feel like I'm waiting for a sign from the universe as to which way to jump!

I think we have a bit in common!

Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

So many views and ideas here. lots to think about. I hope you figure out what you do want to do and can then execute it. I know it is frustrating the heck out of you. :)

sukipoet said...

Lynn thanks. Yesterday I walked around the farm and told mom and dad how well they did choosing this beautiful place. I said I felt it was time for me to leave now but that it, and they, will always hold a special place in my heart. It is true I have always relied on their being there in the past. But now, as you say, I must cut the cord and be a person out in the world on my own, with no "back up." Unless I find someone to scratch me behind the ears!

sukipoet said...

Lisa, just this morning i thought, it's all about control. I am reluctant to release myself because here I have a bit of control and by going onward to whatever I must let go of control and flow. I am excellent at flowing in creative writing and painting projects. But flowing with this is hard for me. I must don my armour and go forth.

sukipoet said...

chewy, I do love your sense of humor. I guess I am the person who must untie that dog and give her all those treats. Thanks.

sukipoet said...

louciao, welcome. good to hear from you. You are right, from my POV, that the massage therapist was picking up on my energy vibrations. She worded it as a past life. I myself would word it as just the vibrations coming as an image of a tied up dog.

I moved up to stay with Mom two years ago. It was a wonderful experience. However Mom died last December. I have been working on getting out of here, buying a home, since last March but something within me has been holding me back. Not the external world, but the internal. I only had to move 5 hours away from my own "stomping ground." So not as big a move as yours might be. I returned to visit with friends etc. Also my cats are elderly and I had to move about 4 times in 5 years so they have had a lot of change. I hate to change yet again yet feel I dont want to remain here another winter.

These sorts of decisions are so hard to make. But I am so glad I had that last year with Mom. Our relationship changed, for the better. I came to know her as a person,rather than just a "mom."

human being said...

your words gave me a big pause too... loved your interpretation of the metaphor...

and when we tie ourselves to something, perhaps it is just because of fear... because we cannot see the place beyond the curve we are in... and why do we fear? are we caught up in details? are we afraid of taking risks? why can't we trust ourselves?

oh... i'm rambling!
:D

such a healing post!

love and peace to you

Artist Unplugged said...

Interesting.....agree with you, don't believe in past lives but it is interesting.

The photos from your trip to Peterborough are really beautiful. Peace to you Suki.

sukipoet said...

Human Being, rambling? I think you hit the mark. I have been getting caught up in too many details, been fearful of the unknown and have NOT been trusting myself. All of those. And now I add a touch of shame that i did not be strong and brave and do the thing I fear. Thank you.

Artist Unplugged, peace to you too my friend.

kikipotamus said...

Suki, how about writing a dialogue to the tied up dog in you? Like you did with the school marm? I really appreciate that you wrote that this will resolve itself in time. You are working on it but not forcing anything. I think that's really important...being compassionate with ourselves. I'm not saying overly indulgent, but gentle.

~Babs said...

Funny,,,and interesting, the previous life concept.
Not that I believe in it myself,,but I've often thought it would be fascinating.
Like time travel,,,both/either would be so awesome,,,if we were completely aware of the previous.

brook said...

People have often said"oh! for a dog's life", but think about it, all the good books we would miss reading.Thanks for the info ,list.
I also enjoy Willow Manor. Time passes quickly, tomorrow will happen, breathe in the present and be content. Life is a gift, open the present slowly. Blessings, Brook Visit me at both my blogs.

louciao said...

Thanks so much for your thoughtful response here and over at my Ragzedge blog. It's rewarding to learn more about you and the decisions you're having to face up to at this point in your life.

For myself, I wonder when and why change became so challenging. It used to be almost a necessity. I wonder if it's because I have both more to lose and less to lose: More material comforts, fewer years left to enjoy them.

Lynette said...

(((Suki))) hugs to you and I think you are so talented and caring to take care of your mom those last 2 years. I would give anything if I had spent more time with my mom before she passed, and I bet you're glad you have those memories with her. I don't know if I believe in reincarnation, I have a hard time believing it, I don't know.

sukipoet said...

brook, welcome. Well, truthfully I have no desire to be a dog and when the therapist said that I was insulted until I viewed the metaphor in more depth.

louciao, interesting what you say about change. My early adulthood was filled with change to the point of chaos with lots of moving. Then I remained in one house for 20 years and life's changes seemed easier to deal with from my familiar surroundings. The decision to move up with Mom was pretty easy as at the same time my SIL was also dying and I knew I was needed up here more than at the place i was then living. Now, I just feel a bit of a blank yet know i must move on and initiate a change. WHY it is hard to do this I dont know. Those chains are invisible.

sukipoet said...

lynette, no regrets about coming up and being with Mom. So glad I did that. Now, just need to move on for my own sake.