I've been at loose ends for several days. Nothing coming together. Took a walk up the road instead of down and found this tangle of vines and branches.
These are stems sans flowers on some bamboo, I think. Feeling restless, unrooted. Irritable. Useless.
Awoke on Saturday and began a flow of creative movement. Still scattered as I moved from one medium to another, but it felt good. Sketched in the angel to paint on a larger than the muse canvas, about 24 by 18. Wanted her to hold something and Britt-arnhild gave me an idea in her comment to my muse painting. Yes, a camera! See Britt-arnhild's blog here.
Meanwhile, I measured out a larger format for my Japanese sidebound books and tore up papers for 5 bookcovers including some from the paste papers I made. Last year I had torn up papers for 20 smaller bookcovers which have been waiting to be glued up so now I can glue up a lot of covers.
I got out my memoir (only 12 pp) and organized it. Then pulled out the novel "A Generous Absence" in its many versions. Yuck. What a mess. I have so many versions I am confused. Still, I am rereading the most recent revisions of chapters 1-3 to see what I think. This is big for me as I havent touched any writing for a few years. Plus I started a new blog which will have my novel in process in it.I want to try some tweaking of the template before I announce this new blog. I wonder if it was Kim's post about my book that got me flowing in this direction?And this morning on "Speaking of Faith" Krista Tippet had a program on yoga. She interviewed Seane Corn and what an inspiring interview. Seldom do I hear yoga teachers speak to the physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of yoga, but Seane did and so articulately. I have long felt yoga was my church, especially when I am blessed to have a class to attend with other yoginis. And I have long felt that yoga, for me, deals with my mood and emotions in equal balance to being a physical discipline. Seane Corn has taken the spiritual aspect of yoga out into the world and "Off the Mat" to help children throughout the world who are prostitutes, helping them turn their lives around.
So how many directions is that? My few days of sallow reslessness are now replaced with excited enthusiasm. Namaste, Suki
19 comments:
oh, i so relate to this post! thanks for sharing. i always think it's very brave and healing to share these scattered thoughts of ours. i think it helps us sometimes to just let it all fall apart and look at all the pieces for awhile before picking them back up. you have many rich choices ahead of you....and your art is beautiful! sounds like your writing may be calling....
Suki, it must be in the air. I have felt at loose ends lately as well! And you have expressed a lot here which resonates with me. It kind of feels as though one is not sure which way to turn, but I think Mary is right in turning out, we finally realize how to turn inward.
I am also working on another blog, but different from yours. I also have to tell you I am so excited about your return to writing. As you know, I have loved "Catching the Light" and now am eager to read more from you. What a gift to give. And I think probably stepping back from your writing has given you the space you have needed in order to get back to it.
And yoga...I am with you. I also needed you to share this interview here. I had a yoga/meditation practice I was faithful to while I was doing some intense work a few years back and it was awesome. I need to get back to that! Like setting up my art studio, I also need to be able to set up a yoga/meditation studio. It is an incredibly spiritual experience which has been so right for me, too.
You are an incredible person who gives so much...another very spiritual practice, righ?
Thanks Suki!
I hear your enthusiasm Suki...
All the paths perhaps on the last painting of the woman (YOU) with brushes in hand and written pages floating heavenward, you are taking now.
Enjoy!!!!
So much does the saying: So much to do, so little time to do it in." fit for me now.
Oh I too related to this too. I have felt restless. I am wondering if it isnt the transition into Fall/winter coming. I feel the need to gather things for winter. Spring clean in fall. Paint a hundered ideas going thru my head but also wanting to just run and play before the nice weather is over. At the same time not being able to do any of it. There I am with to much to do in my head and it keeps me from creating.
My motivation came yesterday tho, We are going to have company in two weeks. Cons older Brother and wife are coming for a visit for a few days. We havent seen them in over six years.So now I know what is first priority.. I am out of closets to toss things in. lol.. and can move onto the other things once the cleaning is done.
Glad to see you got your motivation going too. The new muse looks interesting.
Love the photo of the vines & branches!
Nothing like getting back into the work to snap us out of the doldrums, huh? Glad you're feeling better. Will look forward to your new blog, Suki!
Our electricity was out for about 4 hours so am slow here in commenting.
Mary, you are the master of sharing your thoughts. I love it about blogs that we get to read each other's diaries in whatever form each person decides to present them. Thanks. We'll see about the writing. I think it helps that i feel I am in a securish place to live and dont have to move again for awhile.
Kim, maybe as Cris says below, it is the seasonal transition. Another blog. How exciting!! Well, return to writing is probably an exaggeration. But I am reading what I have written and making notes. We shall see what happens next. I agree that stepping back from a piece of writing helps. When I'm working on it I become overfamiliar with the material and cant see it. Re: the yoga you can listen to the interview on the website. I should have mentioned that in the post. thanks so much for your comments Kim. You always give me new angles to see things from.
Lynn I didnt even think of the fact that my own muse painting might have inspired me. I mean in this concrete way. How funny. But here I am writitng and painting and bookbinding. Shows one the power of art. thanks for your thoughts.
Cris you describe what I was trying to say so well. This and that running from one thing to another, yes play before winter.....hope you find someplace to tuck all that stuff for your upcoming visit. How lovely that they will come and see your charming home and gardens. Be sure to run around outside a few times too in between the cleanings.
Babs, thanks re: photo. Yes, I am much happier in a way when I am working however I also don't want to be a "workaholic" ie: only have good times when working. I like a gap once in awhile, yet tend to be restless during that time. Interesting. So, how about you? Are you back from the lake/?? Can't wait till you can use that studio,looks fab.
What a post.
Indeed restlessness....................
Like shuffling a deck of cards, with a new exiting game to play now.
great you will pick up writing again.
Love >M<
seems you chose the right path that day...life is always about ebbs and flows anyway....award for you on my blog to add to your new mood. hugs.
How cute Suki :-)
Thanks for the link to my blog.
Still trying to focus a bit here too. So glad I have all my dear blog world friends to inspire me. Very happy you got the creative juices flowing again. I would be happy if the domestic goddess jucies ran dry for a while so I could get to some fun!
Well, that was quite a brisk walk through diverse avenues running through your heart and mind. Thanks for inviting me to take a peek.
My dear friend, your energy and seeking heart shall keep you creating forever. Our lives are our greatest creation ... I so enjoy the invite to walk through your eyes on your blog. You walk a very different path than I do, but I know we would have the most delightful of chats as we meandered through wooded lanes, sifted through dusty manuscript re-writes (doesn't everybody have a stack of such?), and settled down over a cup of delicious tea (have you tried orchid oolong? MY FAVORITE) to celebrated the beauty of different lives woven together to make Life so wonderful. Loose ends are merely threads of beauty not yet attached to our tapestry of life. Embrace them and rejoice -- tools for tomorrow's masterpiece.
Have a wonderful Day of Rest. : )
suki, i wonder if it is partly the change of the seasons (ah, i see i am not the only one thinking this as i read the comments...) i had a very similar weekend, feeling scattered and frustrated friday and accomplishing nothing but then running from thing to thing on saturday - the atc cards and also started 2 paper maché puppet heads.
looking forward to your new blog and writing project.
Aahhhh, those loose ends!
So many possibilities. So many possible directions! But it is good to have many projects, sometimes one can make a list of priorities and try to stick to it, but in general I love to have many projects too:)
Suki, where can I buy your book? I'd love to read it, after having read Kim's comment on it, but even before that, I wanted to read it.
Please let me know, thanks so much in advance,
love
Andrea
Ah, the ebb and flow of life...I am glad you found you way back to joy. It sounds like you have as many projects as I do. Good luck with the book and I can't wait to read it.
Marianne, I can only say I hope I write again. It is very hard. Right now I'm just trying some revisions on already written material. We shall see.
Thanks Soulbrush. So true about the ebbs and flows. Thanks for the award. You are so kind and such a dear friend. :)
You're welcome Britt-arnhild.
Karen, you seem so creative to me, you work an intense job, you are a mom of a little one---you do a lot!! Blessings, suki
Debbie I'd love to have a cup of tea with you in the garden and chat. So beautiful what you say--"loose ends are merely threads of beauty not yet attached to our tapestry of life." Bon Mots----
Thanks M. Heart. I guess many of us across the country are feeling a similar pre-fall restlessness. I guess its....okay.
Andrea I think it is available in used book sites. The book is very simple and humble. Kim was too kind. Love, suki
Annie, I can't wait to read your book too. Hope you are doing well on your three weeks of packing art.
suki, wow - a lovely post. Your spirit is being called in many directions - and how wonderful that is! I am surprised to hear you bringing out your writing again! Surprised and pleased. It just shows you that life has infinite possibilities, none of which we can predict.
i also love sean corne. I rented a DVD on yoga from the library and was so lucky it was her... I really enjoyed her philosophy on yoga.
I thought of you a lot this weekend suki - i went on a retreat, and we did some meditation. interesting insights from all of these women who have had many journeys and for some reason, had all read women who run with the wolves! one woman even had a wolf shirt!
Honor, thank you. Well I will look for that Seane Corn video. Her energy was very inspiring and her words. They do have a short video of her on the Speaking of Faith website.
Your retreat sounds wonderful Honor. I think at one time lots of people read "Wolves" Estes touched a vein of gold in a way within women. I clicked on your name by the way but ended up at your same blog??
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