Wednesday, May 28, 2008

A Small Gift

What kind of birthday present do you give to someone who is dying? I consulted with my brother about flowers. No. Because she, SIL, sits there and watches them die. SIL's appetite is very low right now, but she likes rice pudding. So, I made some for her without sugar as she reacts to sugar now.
I took my attention away from the cooking pudding for a titch too long and the bottom layer burned to the pot. I tasted some of the pudding from the bottom and didn't taste that burned flavour so I hope it's all right.

Recipe for Rice Pudding

Boil 1 1/2 cups water in a pot. Add 1 1/2 cups rice to boiling water and reduce heat to a simmer. Cook 20 mins. (I used white rice but I think you can use brown. I never eat white rice myself).

When rice is cooked mix 1 1/2 cups cooked rice with 1 1/2 cups milk. Cook in a clean pot for 15-20 mins stirring occasionally.

Stir in 1/2 cup milk and one beaten egg. Cook 2 more minutes. Remove from stove. Add 1/2 tsp of vanilla and a pat of butter.


Kim said...

Oh Suki! You are so precious. This is a lovely gift for your SIL! It is difficult to be sure making a decision about a gift, but I think you have done the right thing. It sounds as though the fight has gone in her, so I hope she has found peace in her move forward.

I send you strength and positive energy in the days, months and years to come as you help your family through some difficult transitions.

And thank you for the gift of the very dear. I am eager to give it a try!



Hi Suki,
I don't know who SIL is, but it doesn't matter,,,,my prayers are with her, and He knows her.

Rice pudding,,,,now there's something that would sure win me some points if I made it for dessert. I probably won't though, as I don't care for it myself,,,and he makes the instant kind and enjoys it.
(I make him all kinds of other stuff, so he's really not deprived, ha,,,rather spoiled, matter of fact)

Anonymous said...

The best gift is a one of thought and consideration and given with a caring heart. In my Mother's last weeks she didn't even like the taste or texture of toothpaste. Rice pudding is soft and cool. I think she will like your home cooked gift.

Annie said...

It's a lovely, thoughtful gift.
My thoughts are with you and SIL.

Cris in Oregon said...

Oh how sweet of you. no pun intended. She will love it for the thought. I am so good a burning things by looking away a minute. Its the electric stove I say. :)

Cris in Oregon said...

Thanks for the recipe too. no sugar is what I am into right now.

sukipoet said...

Kim thanks for your kind words. It is strange watching SIL slowly become weaker and weaker. But she still has some pleasures: her soap operas, the hummingbirds and I am the official bird feeder filler, and rice pudding.

HI Babs. Not sure if you mean what the abbreviation is for which is sister-in-law, so much easier to type with 3 letters than all those others. I am excellent at making custard but not sure about the rice pudding. But if she likes it it will be a nice treat. You are so sweet to spoil hour "him." He's some lucky guy. Thanks.

thanks Chewy. She loves the sugar less store bought rice puddings so we'll see about this one I made.If she likes it I can make it every now and again.

Annie, thanks for your kind thoughts.

SIL seems allergic to sugar now or something. All I did was leave the sugar out. To me, it tasted a tad bland to be truthful. Are you using sugar substitues in your foods Cris?

human being said...

the best gift is to have a gifted friend or relative who knows what you'd like as a gift...
wish the best for you, Suki who are so kind and caring.

hope a peaceful journey for your dear SIL.

Cestandrea said...

Suki, what a most difficult time for your sister in law. It makes you think about why do people (we) haqve to suffer. What sense is behind all this? How can we respond to such things? You do it so fine, making this rice pudding. You do. You make something. My thoughts go to your sister in law too, and you and the rest of your family, love, Andrea

sukipoet said...

Human Being thank you for your kind words and good wishes.

andrea, I am so puzzled by life and death. We learn, we create, we are busy, we experience and then.... some day we are no more. and it is such a puzzle to why some people are allotted this slow death, a slow fading away bit by bit. I can't even imagine what it would be like, really. Just tonight, after the grass has been mowed and baled, the landscape from the porch looks so lovely, so peaceful. I have such pleasure sitting here. And i wonder about SIL, what does she think and feel? For my own self, my only solace really is to try to be present in the present moment and do the small things I can do.

marianne said...

What a great gift Suki!
At this moment I feel surrounded by death, but death is such a part of live. Sometimes we run away from it but it is useless. Sometimes it catches up with you again and surrounds you. Not to scare you only to let you see there is no point running.

Forever Young said...

all these comments are so touching. i really liked the photo with the burnt bits...somehow that seemed poignant to me, that whatever we do we can always mess it up...and so with life and dying...when i go i want to go very fast...that suffering is so damned unnecessary...grrrr...

sukipoet said...

thanks Marianne. On a practical level, it turns out a number of people brought SIL buckets of rice pudding as that is one of the few treat foods she likes. But on another level of course, for me, it was the making and giving that mattered. There is not a lot one can actually DO in such situations and so these small things weigh large and make me feel I'm helping in some way.

FY I have to laugh at your liking the burnt bit. Though I know,it is poignant. Imperfection is a part of life, just as is death. I'm with you, I think I'd like to go fast. But then again, lingering gives us time to say goodbye.

Thank you everyone for your comments. They touch my heart. What a miraculous group of folks you are out there. I'm so glad I've met you all. Namaste.

Mary Richmond said...

Hi there--just got home last night and am catching up on the blog world. what a nice gift you gave! i think people don't know what to do for people who we know are dying. it's good to remember they are living right up til the moment they die.

a friend of mine who died years ago told me with great excitement (even though she was very weak) that someone gave her a new nightgown and that it was the most precious gift ever. she died a few days after receiving it....wearing it. she said people are afraid to give presents to dying people but that dying people are living and still love to be remembered and pampered and ever since I have brought gifts of pretty things to people i know who are dying (which unfortunately has been quite a few) and it has always been received with tears and gratitude. when my dearest friend died of cancer last year i was the only person (including her family!) who gave her a gift for her birthday just before she died. i gave her a black silk top that just felt lovely. she wore it to her chemo treatments the last weeks....her family loved her deeply. they just didn't know what to give her.

i think you chose a lovely gift, even if she can't eat it, she'll know you did something sweet and special for her....